I really love climbing days. I've never felt so alive and happy. It's great to be back in climbing again. I'm just so determined to train really hard from now on. But today really got me thinking. And I will reveal why really soon.
So went to climb today at CA with span, buff, ladykiller, xx and tk came along too. we bouldered and did top rope climbing and it was really fun because I felt that I was getting back my touch in climbing again.
ladykiller also got his climbing pants today too as his bday present :D felt really bad that we didn't crash his house in the end though :/ but i guess i can't blame anyone except myself. the fact that A levels has ended for us is too tempting... but i'm glad he really liked the gift and he wore it immediately to climb. also had a first glimpse of the buff in his mossy green climbing pants that he got from us for his bday! hope he truly likes it even though it is quite a glaring colour (but honestly, i wear orange pants. ORANGE) and i guess it does match his shoes' colour too. except he has to start wearing white shirts. LOL.
oh and we also met this dude that took a 4 year hiatus from climbing because of NS. he used to be in TJ rock climbing sia. and he was very pro. but because of NS, everything went down the drain. I'm kinda afraid the same will happen to me. and it's bound to happen. two years. it's a long time and it's no joke. but even though training really hard now for climbing may seem pointless to many, i feel that it is something i would enjoy to pursue and i will have no regrets when i end up deteriorating in my climbing standard because of army. like what the span said, it's a phase in our lives that every singaporean male climber has to go through... and it's not like I would stop climbing completely. I will try my best to climb every now and then when I'm serving the nation, even though i would be extremely shagged and all.. but i just have to give it a shot..
ok time for dota. gonna be buying grad night stuff tmr with my family and celebrate my 2nd sis' birthday!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
End Of A Levels
I don't know why, but this song was playing in my head right before the physics mcq paper ended today, around 15:10 it started playing in my head. 5 minutes before the end. 5 minutes before my freedom.
The end of A levels. It never felt so sweet and good. I can't believe all of this is over, and yet it feels so great.
it's as if a great load has been lifted off my shoulders.. I know that sounds very cliche, but that's exactly how I feel. Life will take a turn from now on. Things would be so much different. I don't know what to expect, but I'm going to live through it with happiness.
Shall blog next time, because it is time to have fun and relax :)
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Before the finale
You know that moment when there's so much on your mind, but you don't know where to start?
Yep. I'm having one of those moments now.
It's close to 1am midnight and I'll try and keep it short before I go and sleep for the exam tmr. my body clock is quite screwed but it doesn't really matter since the paper is in the afternoon anyway and it's mcq.
anyway, the H3 paper was kinda difficult. I hope I can scrape a pass/merit at least. ok maybe merit. made a bet with the H3 gang that if i get merit, i'm treating everyone to lunch. since I have NS pay by then, I think it's quite worth it. and if i get distinction, hell i promised to treat them all to dinner. even though there's not much difference. ok maybe a buffet dinner. because there's no way in hell i'm getting distinction. but well, I'm happy that the paper is over and sad at the same time. H3 chem was really interesting to me, and it's a pity that I didn't put in enough effort for it. but I enjoyed the process, the lessons, the other students and everything about it. so yeah, it has been a great experience for me and I would say I have taken H3 with no regrets whatsoever. after the paper, we went to eat dinner at pizza hut and play pool. we had lots of fun of course, although I felt a certain sadness when I left because this was probably the last H3 outing in a long time (even though we didn't have much outings)
then friday was another fun-filled day. went to climb at CA with the climbers in my batch and three of the junior guys came after that. it felt like some reunion after such a long hiatus from climbing. didn't give a damn about getting 3 flappers that day, i just wanted to climb like crazy. but i felt quite weak that day, it's as if I was learning climbing all over again and I was using brute strength most of the time. like I lost all my technique, endurance and grip. damn it. anw the junior guys really climbed very very well, much better than all of us and I would say even better than when I peaked during the intense days. They have definitely trained really hard and really well and I'm really proud of them, to see them progress so much. But it also makes me determined to train hard again if I ever want to dream of attempting the crazy routes they set. I see much potential in them for next year, really hope we won't get last place anymore! It's heartwarming to see progression in the next batch, it's like true happiness... anyway came back really tired but satisfied that day, only to realise I fell sick with a sore throat, cough and flu.
saturday was ok, went to visit my paternal side because my cousin had a newborn baby and he was throwing a 1 month old party. didn't feel well towards the end and left earlier to go see the doctor. then started doing MCQs on sunday (kinda late) until today, while being medicated throughout. I hope I will be well by tmr. sort of recovered alr today but shall continue to take medication just in case. I just wish I won't have to be sedated once As are officially over. I want to enjoy myself, but not while I'm sniffing and coughing all the way. NO. I must get well before the 28th. Not gonna spend my time after As cooped up at home recovering. NO WAY.
the 28th of Nov. Really looking forward to that day!!!
oh yeah, played dota pub today in the afternoon. it was one of the rare times where my team won the game when I was in the scourge team. cause usually i lose when im in the scourge since the pub in my team always leave or the opponent team are friends and they play with lots of synergy. but strangely, my team totally owned because we played with a lot of coordination, almost as if we could predict each other's actions. one of the most satisfying games I played with a zero death count and a holy shit spree until the end :)
anyway I'm thinking between buying three new PC games after As: Halo 2, Assassin's Creed 3, or Skyrim. Ok I know that Halo 2 is old, but my com only has Halo -.- so i want to play the next series after that, and anyway halo 3 and 4 don't have a pc version. or even if it does, it's not sold in sg i think. i don't have any xbox, ps2, psp or whatever shit. I'm a PC gamer and I will always be one.
alright I think it's better time to sleep. it's 1am already. Gonna listen to one last song on my phone before going to bed. Goodnight world!
Yep. I'm having one of those moments now.
It's close to 1am midnight and I'll try and keep it short before I go and sleep for the exam tmr. my body clock is quite screwed but it doesn't really matter since the paper is in the afternoon anyway and it's mcq.
anyway, the H3 paper was kinda difficult. I hope I can scrape a pass/merit at least. ok maybe merit. made a bet with the H3 gang that if i get merit, i'm treating everyone to lunch. since I have NS pay by then, I think it's quite worth it. and if i get distinction, hell i promised to treat them all to dinner. even though there's not much difference. ok maybe a buffet dinner. because there's no way in hell i'm getting distinction. but well, I'm happy that the paper is over and sad at the same time. H3 chem was really interesting to me, and it's a pity that I didn't put in enough effort for it. but I enjoyed the process, the lessons, the other students and everything about it. so yeah, it has been a great experience for me and I would say I have taken H3 with no regrets whatsoever. after the paper, we went to eat dinner at pizza hut and play pool. we had lots of fun of course, although I felt a certain sadness when I left because this was probably the last H3 outing in a long time (even though we didn't have much outings)
then friday was another fun-filled day. went to climb at CA with the climbers in my batch and three of the junior guys came after that. it felt like some reunion after such a long hiatus from climbing. didn't give a damn about getting 3 flappers that day, i just wanted to climb like crazy. but i felt quite weak that day, it's as if I was learning climbing all over again and I was using brute strength most of the time. like I lost all my technique, endurance and grip. damn it. anw the junior guys really climbed very very well, much better than all of us and I would say even better than when I peaked during the intense days. They have definitely trained really hard and really well and I'm really proud of them, to see them progress so much. But it also makes me determined to train hard again if I ever want to dream of attempting the crazy routes they set. I see much potential in them for next year, really hope we won't get last place anymore! It's heartwarming to see progression in the next batch, it's like true happiness... anyway came back really tired but satisfied that day, only to realise I fell sick with a sore throat, cough and flu.
saturday was ok, went to visit my paternal side because my cousin had a newborn baby and he was throwing a 1 month old party. didn't feel well towards the end and left earlier to go see the doctor. then started doing MCQs on sunday (kinda late) until today, while being medicated throughout. I hope I will be well by tmr. sort of recovered alr today but shall continue to take medication just in case. I just wish I won't have to be sedated once As are officially over. I want to enjoy myself, but not while I'm sniffing and coughing all the way. NO. I must get well before the 28th. Not gonna spend my time after As cooped up at home recovering. NO WAY.
the 28th of Nov. Really looking forward to that day!!!
oh yeah, played dota pub today in the afternoon. it was one of the rare times where my team won the game when I was in the scourge team. cause usually i lose when im in the scourge since the pub in my team always leave or the opponent team are friends and they play with lots of synergy. but strangely, my team totally owned because we played with a lot of coordination, almost as if we could predict each other's actions. one of the most satisfying games I played with a zero death count and a holy shit spree until the end :)
anyway I'm thinking between buying three new PC games after As: Halo 2, Assassin's Creed 3, or Skyrim. Ok I know that Halo 2 is old, but my com only has Halo -.- so i want to play the next series after that, and anyway halo 3 and 4 don't have a pc version. or even if it does, it's not sold in sg i think. i don't have any xbox, ps2, psp or whatever shit. I'm a PC gamer and I will always be one.
alright I think it's better time to sleep. it's 1am already. Gonna listen to one last song on my phone before going to bed. Goodnight world!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Some thoughts
Just some thoughts I had today.
I think it's time to reflect on how I have been for the past two years. and maybe it's time to change.
Never emo, never rage, never quit. Or at least something along that line. And always be responsible for the actions I commit. Yeah.. I shall stop being vulgar from now on. But of course it won't be instant, but gradually. and i'll try and speak slower and articulate my words better. guess I just get too worked up sometimes that I stumble on my words. and no matter what problems I may face in my friendship, I shall always treasure all of them. and I'll also stop hating on others no matter how f-ed up they may be. From now on, I shall be more patient, tolerant and calm.
anyway, just found out through FB that the climbing team just got a new vice captain/girl's team captain! really cool that new positions are made and there are more opportunities for the climbers :) I hope next year they would be able to balance their studies as well as training, cause it's gonna be really draining for them. but if past batches can do it, i'm sure they can do it too and overcome their challenges.
ok back to studying..
I think it's time to reflect on how I have been for the past two years. and maybe it's time to change.
Never emo, never rage, never quit. Or at least something along that line. And always be responsible for the actions I commit. Yeah.. I shall stop being vulgar from now on. But of course it won't be instant, but gradually. and i'll try and speak slower and articulate my words better. guess I just get too worked up sometimes that I stumble on my words. and no matter what problems I may face in my friendship, I shall always treasure all of them. and I'll also stop hating on others no matter how f-ed up they may be. From now on, I shall be more patient, tolerant and calm.
anyway, just found out through FB that the climbing team just got a new vice captain/girl's team captain! really cool that new positions are made and there are more opportunities for the climbers :) I hope next year they would be able to balance their studies as well as training, cause it's gonna be really draining for them. but if past batches can do it, i'm sure they can do it too and overcome their challenges.
ok back to studying..
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The 600th
This is the 600th post of my blog.
But it's only the 600th. This blog could exist for so long during my lifetime, that it could even reach 6000, 60000, 6000000 and so on.
anyway, most of the major papers are over. only H3 chem, phy and chem mcq stand in my way from complete freedom. but i'm quite ok with these papers. overall, the papers that I have completed so far have all been smooth sailing, except for my maths. but what ever grade I get, it is what I deserve, and I reap what I sow. I would take that A level cert next year proudly, because it represents the effort that I put in in my academics in my two years in NJ.
today was a physically and mentally tiring day. The econs paper was ok, I just did what I could and did it to the best of my ability.
I've been thinking a lot lately, about what uni courses to take next time, and what to do after A levels before I enlist, even though I have a rough idea of what I plan to do. As the A levels are coming to an end, I kinda dread the initial emptiness that I would feel on the 28th. But it would subside over time, time heals everything. But at the same time I'm eagerly anticipating the end, and the 28th is gonna be a great day because so much would be happening that day ;)
who will I be from now on? would I change? what are things gonna be like once all this is over? these are just some burning questions that sets me thinking. but eventually I would find out the answers to these questions.
It seems like in different phases of our lives, we change as a person, not just appearance wise but also in our personality. Although my personality has not changed much since pri school, I would say that I have definitely become more mature despite being childish at the same time. But I shall always keep this playful character of mine, it is what defines me as a person, even though people may think I am immature.
Oh yeah, went to the boulder gym that day to pass MG the money for the overseas trip and the edusave form. really cant wait to go overseas and try out natural rocks. it's nice to see the juniors training and having a coach and teacher in charge, everything feels proper and training feels structured. hopefully the team would expand greatly next year and climbing would become established in NJ. and who knows, maybe some day climbing may even be NJ's niche CCA? hmmm. but that's provided the gym won't be torn down, but from the way things look to me, it is unlikely that it's gonna happen. i hope.
time to rest since i'm heading to school tmr.
But it's only the 600th. This blog could exist for so long during my lifetime, that it could even reach 6000, 60000, 6000000 and so on.
anyway, most of the major papers are over. only H3 chem, phy and chem mcq stand in my way from complete freedom. but i'm quite ok with these papers. overall, the papers that I have completed so far have all been smooth sailing, except for my maths. but what ever grade I get, it is what I deserve, and I reap what I sow. I would take that A level cert next year proudly, because it represents the effort that I put in in my academics in my two years in NJ.
today was a physically and mentally tiring day. The econs paper was ok, I just did what I could and did it to the best of my ability.
I've been thinking a lot lately, about what uni courses to take next time, and what to do after A levels before I enlist, even though I have a rough idea of what I plan to do. As the A levels are coming to an end, I kinda dread the initial emptiness that I would feel on the 28th. But it would subside over time, time heals everything. But at the same time I'm eagerly anticipating the end, and the 28th is gonna be a great day because so much would be happening that day ;)
who will I be from now on? would I change? what are things gonna be like once all this is over? these are just some burning questions that sets me thinking. but eventually I would find out the answers to these questions.
It seems like in different phases of our lives, we change as a person, not just appearance wise but also in our personality. Although my personality has not changed much since pri school, I would say that I have definitely become more mature despite being childish at the same time. But I shall always keep this playful character of mine, it is what defines me as a person, even though people may think I am immature.
Oh yeah, went to the boulder gym that day to pass MG the money for the overseas trip and the edusave form. really cant wait to go overseas and try out natural rocks. it's nice to see the juniors training and having a coach and teacher in charge, everything feels proper and training feels structured. hopefully the team would expand greatly next year and climbing would become established in NJ. and who knows, maybe some day climbing may even be NJ's niche CCA? hmmm. but that's provided the gym won't be torn down, but from the way things look to me, it is unlikely that it's gonna happen. i hope.
time to rest since i'm heading to school tmr.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Thanks
So I just noticed my blog counter, and it's at 12k+ views. It amazes me that about 12000+ shit was given about my blog since 2007. so yeah this is just a post to thank everyone that cared about me or tried to understand me in some way or another.
the end of A levels is near. I can almost feel it! Looking forward to it very much :) the privilege of doing absolutely nothing and not feeling guilty about it.
this post shall end abruptly here
the end of A levels is near. I can almost feel it! Looking forward to it very much :) the privilege of doing absolutely nothing and not feeling guilty about it.
this post shall end abruptly here
Saturday, November 10, 2012
The Future
The Future. You'll never find out what it's like until you get there.
The end of A levels is near. But somehow I am dreading it a little, maybe because I hate that feeling of emptiness that is so overwhelming when it is finally over. But I'll get over it. I have to anyway.
I'm kinda glad that the Climbing Team is in good hands and it is operating well now. Really looking forward to training the team once this is done, even though I won't have time on my side considering that I'm enlisting so early. But I'll make do with what I have.
Gonna be spamming econs and H3 for the next few days. Won't be focussing much on chem and phy, maybe just practice one more paper each.
But I gave myself a well deserved break yesterday.
Anyway, here's a check list of what I'm gonna be doing after As:
Climbing (duh)
Running
Nerf wars
Get more nerf guns
Modify nerf guns
Play dota and runescape
Write a book
Read interesting novels
and that's pretty much it. but mostly it will be climbing and running. gotta prepare myself for NS too cause i'm really feeling very unfit now.
kk off to econs~
The end of A levels is near. But somehow I am dreading it a little, maybe because I hate that feeling of emptiness that is so overwhelming when it is finally over. But I'll get over it. I have to anyway.
I'm kinda glad that the Climbing Team is in good hands and it is operating well now. Really looking forward to training the team once this is done, even though I won't have time on my side considering that I'm enlisting so early. But I'll make do with what I have.
Gonna be spamming econs and H3 for the next few days. Won't be focussing much on chem and phy, maybe just practice one more paper each.
But I gave myself a well deserved break yesterday.
Anyway, here's a check list of what I'm gonna be doing after As:
Climbing (duh)
Running
Nerf wars
Get more nerf guns
Modify nerf guns
Play dota and runescape
Write a book
Read interesting novels
and that's pretty much it. but mostly it will be climbing and running. gotta prepare myself for NS too cause i'm really feeling very unfit now.
kk off to econs~
Friday, November 9, 2012
Last Chance
So today I went to school with no expectations...
and came back a happy boy, because physics was alright to me. it didn't bother me at all that I did some questions wrongly. I began to realise what's been bugging me about A levels. It's the pursuit of perfection. The craving of getting everything right. Sure, everyone wants to do well. But in the end, being upset about not getting full marks is quite pointless, because you'll still make it out with a decent grade. So it's fine to make mistakes and I've accepted that. Life is all about making mistakes. A life isn't worth living if you haven't experienced failure before, or if you are afraid to lose. This fear will eventually kill you.
And so tomorrow is my last chance to SALVAGE (im getting tired of the GP joke) my maths. I will try my best, but whatever the outcome, I will face it with no regrets as it is my mistakes and my wrongdoings that would determine my future.
Ok it's nearing 12am, and I can't really sleep.
Been thinking it through lately, and I have decided to try my luck in writing a novel after my A levels. It would be something along the idea of going through JC life and growing up. Sort of like an autobiography/memoir of my two years in JC. hmm. Or maybe I'll just blog about it. Shall see how it goes. After all, I don't really have much time after As, it's only 90+ more days to my enlistment, and A levels isn't even over yet.
but overall, i'm looking forward to entering the army.
shall end it off here.
and came back a happy boy, because physics was alright to me. it didn't bother me at all that I did some questions wrongly. I began to realise what's been bugging me about A levels. It's the pursuit of perfection. The craving of getting everything right. Sure, everyone wants to do well. But in the end, being upset about not getting full marks is quite pointless, because you'll still make it out with a decent grade. So it's fine to make mistakes and I've accepted that. Life is all about making mistakes. A life isn't worth living if you haven't experienced failure before, or if you are afraid to lose. This fear will eventually kill you.
And so tomorrow is my last chance to SALVAGE (im getting tired of the GP joke) my maths. I will try my best, but whatever the outcome, I will face it with no regrets as it is my mistakes and my wrongdoings that would determine my future.
Ok it's nearing 12am, and I can't really sleep.
Been thinking it through lately, and I have decided to try my luck in writing a novel after my A levels. It would be something along the idea of going through JC life and growing up. Sort of like an autobiography/memoir of my two years in JC. hmm. Or maybe I'll just blog about it. Shall see how it goes. After all, I don't really have much time after As, it's only 90+ more days to my enlistment, and A levels isn't even over yet.
but overall, i'm looking forward to entering the army.
shall end it off here.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Progress thus far
finished with four papers so far. nine more to go. I am currently posting using my new htc phone. android needs a blogger app too :(
anyway the gp papers and chem paper 2 were okay, maybe except for a careless mistake in chem but that's not very severe.
my main worry now is maths. to put it realistically, I screwed it up, but did not fuck it up. let's just say i made very stupid mistakes for today's paper which may cost me a lot... I hope there won't be a repetition on Friday.
It sucks when I cant help but tell the truth as to what happened to my maths paper today to my parents. then they came up with 1001 reasons why i messed it up such as blaming it on sleeping late or getting a new phone. eventually it ended up in a quarrel and here i am lying on my bed trying my very best to study physics with the room door locked. it is sad that things have come to this. when you are completely judged based on academic results. that marks and grades can ruin family ties just like that... when in the end, people forget that people are human beings, making mistakes is natural.
and no matter what grades i get in the end, i vow to make it big someday.i wont let mere results bring me down and i will aim for success...
It sucks when I cant help but tell the truth as to what happened to my maths paper today to my parents. then they came up with 1001 reasons why i messed it up such as blaming it on sleeping late or getting a new phone. eventually it ended up in a quarrel and here i am lying on my bed trying my very best to study physics with the room door locked. it is sad that things have come to this. when you are completely judged based on academic results. that marks and grades can ruin family ties just like that... when in the end, people forget that people are human beings, making mistakes is natural.
and no matter what grades i get in the end, i vow to make it big someday.i wont let mere results bring me down and i will aim for success...
Friday, November 2, 2012
Sigh NJ, yet again
So woke up and saw all the rants on twitter by my juniors about something that happened today in NJ. I'm guessing it's the principal's talk with their batch about their promo results. I'm guessing it wasn't encouraging at all.
Anyway, to say that my batch was an outlier and they shouldn't compare to us is kinda insulting. Ok sure, my cohort may not be the best and all, but if the juniors did even worse this time, doesn't that show that the fault may not lie in the students, but rather the school itself? If every year results are getting worse and worse, and if they still stick to the same method of handling the SH1s, then I think it's time for a review and find out what's the real problem behind it, and not just put them down with words of discouragement thinking that it will motivate them somehow, because it won't. Going through JC life, it is a phase where everyday you're just lucky to survive, waking up early and dragging your sorry ass to school. And yet it is aggravated with such harsh remarks thrown at you. How is this a vibrant place to be in if even the hand that feeds you also slaps you? I feel that NJ should start getting rid of its purely academic mindset, and start focusing more on the psychological aspect of studying. The loss of motivation, family problems or too many school commitments etc are all possible reasons why students do badly. They should not just attribute it as they are damn stupid and say that the promotional criteria is a mockery of their intelligence. I believe that if they are able to meet the cut off score to enter NJ, then it should not be the case that they do extremely badly because they are not smart. It could be due to other reasons that NJ fails to recognize, just simply characterizing the student as a failure and a thorn in the perfect reputation rose NJ is trying to artificially create.
Moreover, it is the way that NJ treats it's students that makes us lose the school spirit. Compared to other JCs, I think NJ's school spirit is almost close to zero. Except maybe during orientation, where everything seems hopeful for the new SH1s, only to be put down once their name is cast in stone under this education system. I feel that everyone is bonded cause of the people they meet here, and frankly most people in NJ are really great people to befriend, but because of the way the school treats us, we start to dislike the school and slowly our school spirit dies out. When I see other JCs having fun and cheering their lungs out for the school, or even being proud of their school when they win an award or medal, I kinda feel envious because NJ lacks that kind of togetherness within the school population. There was once MG talked to us about this too. She said that school bonding starts off from the individual, and within the CCA and slowly expands to include the whole school. Which is true. I am in a very bonded CCA. But as for the school, when it comes to school or house cheers and all that, I guess the passion just dies out. It's just like if you love your nation, you would sing the national anthem proudly. But that love for the school is something that I feel very few students possess. Who can truly say they are proud to be from NJ? Sometimes I question the 4 paired values of this College. I don't think the main one should be Service with Honour. I think it should be Scholarship with Creativity, because as the years go by, it becomes more evident that the only thing they care about is your academic results. If you don't do well enough, you are expelled. And that's implying that people who have bad results are breaking school rules and have bad conduct, which is very misguided. Bad grades do not mean the person is a bad leader. So really, there isn't 4 paired values. There's only 1 the way I see it.
Maybe someday when I return, things would be different. Hopefully the leadership changes. Ask our fav principal to name any mainstream non councillor from my batch that she knows. Hahahahaha. We are just register numbers, meant to fulfill good results so that the master plan can be achieved with the approval of MOE. I bet the VPs can name more than zero. Because I feel the VPs are the ones that truly care about the welfare of the students. Whenever I see the female VP around, she'll ask me how I'm doing, and she'll also chat and laugh along with me. She puts in the effort to interact with her students and she takes into account their opinions. Maybe, if things work out in the end, NJ will become a better institution for its students.
Anyway, to say that my batch was an outlier and they shouldn't compare to us is kinda insulting. Ok sure, my cohort may not be the best and all, but if the juniors did even worse this time, doesn't that show that the fault may not lie in the students, but rather the school itself? If every year results are getting worse and worse, and if they still stick to the same method of handling the SH1s, then I think it's time for a review and find out what's the real problem behind it, and not just put them down with words of discouragement thinking that it will motivate them somehow, because it won't. Going through JC life, it is a phase where everyday you're just lucky to survive, waking up early and dragging your sorry ass to school. And yet it is aggravated with such harsh remarks thrown at you. How is this a vibrant place to be in if even the hand that feeds you also slaps you? I feel that NJ should start getting rid of its purely academic mindset, and start focusing more on the psychological aspect of studying. The loss of motivation, family problems or too many school commitments etc are all possible reasons why students do badly. They should not just attribute it as they are damn stupid and say that the promotional criteria is a mockery of their intelligence. I believe that if they are able to meet the cut off score to enter NJ, then it should not be the case that they do extremely badly because they are not smart. It could be due to other reasons that NJ fails to recognize, just simply characterizing the student as a failure and a thorn in the perfect reputation rose NJ is trying to artificially create.
Moreover, it is the way that NJ treats it's students that makes us lose the school spirit. Compared to other JCs, I think NJ's school spirit is almost close to zero. Except maybe during orientation, where everything seems hopeful for the new SH1s, only to be put down once their name is cast in stone under this education system. I feel that everyone is bonded cause of the people they meet here, and frankly most people in NJ are really great people to befriend, but because of the way the school treats us, we start to dislike the school and slowly our school spirit dies out. When I see other JCs having fun and cheering their lungs out for the school, or even being proud of their school when they win an award or medal, I kinda feel envious because NJ lacks that kind of togetherness within the school population. There was once MG talked to us about this too. She said that school bonding starts off from the individual, and within the CCA and slowly expands to include the whole school. Which is true. I am in a very bonded CCA. But as for the school, when it comes to school or house cheers and all that, I guess the passion just dies out. It's just like if you love your nation, you would sing the national anthem proudly. But that love for the school is something that I feel very few students possess. Who can truly say they are proud to be from NJ? Sometimes I question the 4 paired values of this College. I don't think the main one should be Service with Honour. I think it should be Scholarship with Creativity, because as the years go by, it becomes more evident that the only thing they care about is your academic results. If you don't do well enough, you are expelled. And that's implying that people who have bad results are breaking school rules and have bad conduct, which is very misguided. Bad grades do not mean the person is a bad leader. So really, there isn't 4 paired values. There's only 1 the way I see it.
Maybe someday when I return, things would be different. Hopefully the leadership changes. Ask our fav principal to name any mainstream non councillor from my batch that she knows. Hahahahaha. We are just register numbers, meant to fulfill good results so that the master plan can be achieved with the approval of MOE. I bet the VPs can name more than zero. Because I feel the VPs are the ones that truly care about the welfare of the students. Whenever I see the female VP around, she'll ask me how I'm doing, and she'll also chat and laugh along with me. She puts in the effort to interact with her students and she takes into account their opinions. Maybe, if things work out in the end, NJ will become a better institution for its students.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
November Rain
The first day of November. 4 days left to the start. 27 days left to salvation. My plan is really simple. I'm gonna do One maths paper, one chem paper and one physics paper. Then the weekends will be completely devoted to GP, but just purely reading and practicing introductions for essays. I think this should be adequate for the battle that is to come, for I have prepared quite consistently over the past few days and I am contented to say that I am prepared for A levels, so bring it on, give me all you got cause I'm ready for this!
Oh and this is a shout out to my good friend NC, who's birthday is today. Even though he is probably gonna be mugging the whole day just like everyone else, I hope he'll enjoy his special occasion. And we're definitely gonna have a mass celebration after As!
Anyway, recently Buffy tweeted about how we were gonna be rid of NJ in less than a month's time.
Well, I think it's time for me to sum up the two years I had in NJ.
If I had to describe NJ in no more than 7 words, it would be: "a bittersweet experience under a common oppression"
Why bittersweet?
Although the College management made me have a rude awakening as to how harsh and cruel a bureaucracy can be, it made me more ready to face the world in the future. The cold and twisted world. So in an ironic way, NJ has taught me to hate and be prepared for society because it behaves exactly like one, if not even worse.
But of course, I don't abhor NJ. That's because it is here I met people that I would never forget for the rest of my life. People that have grown up with me throughout these two years, my fellow friends, and people that have nurtured and guided me, my dedicated teachers.
And for that, I will definitely miss NJ when I finally leave this place, because the shared experiences with others here definitely outweigh the shitty treatment of students by the management.
Looking back, it has been a real roller coaster for the past two years. From the very first day to the very last...
Entering the college gates,
Following along the line of other students.
Feelings of excitement, feelings of uncertainty.
Gathering in the hall,
First friends are made.
Orientation started,
Games, fun, bonding and laughter.
Dancing the night away,
The end was just too soon.
Tried out a few CCAs,
Went for the OAC Camp.
Met new friends there.
Split apart from each other,
Into an abyss of apprehension.
Thrown into a new class,
What the heck was AIMS?
Air con classroom,
Epic tables and switches,
Seat was stolen,
Doesn't matter.
Made first friend,
Sitting at my side,
Made many other friends around,
A kind of bonding never found anywhere else.
Attending CCA trainings,
Introduced to climbing.
Getting my fitness up.
EXCO elections.
Thought about it for a few days
Decided why not?
Went ahead and ran for what I wanted
Glad to have much encouragement from my peers
Got the title in the end,
Was really excited and happy about all the possibilities.
With shaking legs
I emerge from the background
Steadying my voice,
The first command is given.
Been through many trainings,
Both tough and fun
Taking part in competitions
Even though we suck
We are new and young
With a bright future ahead of us.
The burning passion inside
Kept me going on and on
There was no stopping motivation so strong
More of them joined
Things were looking hopeful
Until the day
The college announced the dreadful
Tearing it down,
The tears rolled down,
But not my spirit,
It kept going on.
Breaking school rules
And getting caught
Laughing about it later
Without much thought
Foolish behaviour
And childish antics
Having fun with my class
Playing around
Doing stupid things
Cracking retarded jokes
A special kind of bonding.
Promos came and went,
Did quite well,
Offered H3 subjects,
Chem here I come.
PW group mates
Rushing late at night
Driven and fun
Oral presentation
Last of the last
A joyous celebration
Of the end of SH1
The dreaded year began
Endless mugging
Trying to make ends meet and save time
Priorities. Prioritize.
Orientation.
Dance pracs.
So many things in mind.
Overworked, tired, coming back dead at night.
OGL
A fun time
Doing what I could
New classroom
Same classmates
Wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
More joined climbing
It was expanding
More competitions to come
Juniors soon arrived
Did the best I could
To impart all I can
So that they would survive
First disappointment
A lesson learnt
That over active
Is not for boulder
Then came the moment
Where I was ready
To pump up the team
And beat the fest
Time to step down
Hang up my gear
But I made a promise
Which I would fulfill
Once all this is over.
The split occurred
Mixed emotions
But contented nonetheless
It was the birth of a new CCA
A dream that finally came true
captain appointed
Tasks passed down
Things began anew
A pang of guilt
But it will pass
Time will heal
So both would last
Prelims came really quick
Results weren't that good
But I would make it worthwhile in the end
For A levels, I should.
Sorry guys but it was a very retarded attempt at a summary/poetic way of writing the key events that happened in my JC life. Of course, I didn't cover all of it. It's just too much. Anyway, I plan to dedicate a long post after As to every single person that has made a difference in my JC life, one way or another.
Through it all, no matter how much we always blabber about how NJ sucks, I think every one of us would still have a piece of NJ in our heart. A memory that would never be forgotten.
I have made the winning move. Finally it is over. I think. But I hope I didn't indirectly make a scapegoat out of someone else.
Anyway yesterday my parents were talking to me about random stuff. Then my mum said that a lot of my cousins were alr getting attached, even the cousins that were younger than me (apparently my 15 year old male cousin has a Gf wow how great I'm sure it would last forever <3) and that my aunts kept repeating over and over again through their gossips "everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, all except Joshua"
Oh wow guess what. I am fucking taking A levels. And it is not a norm for every 18 year old to be attached, so why do u expect me to have one? And it's not like my male cousins had girlfriends when they were my age (ok maybe except one of them). But still, I am only 18. And besides, I'd rather find that one perfect relationship, than just settle for anyone and anytime and end up breaking up over 5 times in my teenage years. That just shows so much about your character.
There's nothing to be proud of to have over 5 divorces. But there's something to admire if someone marries the perfect person and loves him or her for the rest of their life wholeheartedly. Same goes for relationships. I think it's not something to be taken lightly and should be considered wisely before getting into one for real. But of course, there have been past experiences which I feel really guilty about at times. And some of them even feel like I just let it slip away. It makes me wonder if I will ever find that someone some day.
And to whatever I thought would be possible after As, I guess it's no longer possible anymore. But well, I can't live with myself if I live under a false pretense and lie to myself that it would all be ok and if I create fake emotions for myself. It's sad when the person you think you truly like, probably doesn't give a shit about you right now. And at the same time, you unwittingly do the same to those that like you. A one way love is never a good thing, and it often ends up in shit.
4 more days. 27 more days. 35 more days. 60 more days. There are many countdowns in life. But sometimes we have to stop counting the days, and start making the days count.
Oh and this is a shout out to my good friend NC, who's birthday is today. Even though he is probably gonna be mugging the whole day just like everyone else, I hope he'll enjoy his special occasion. And we're definitely gonna have a mass celebration after As!
Anyway, recently Buffy tweeted about how we were gonna be rid of NJ in less than a month's time.
Well, I think it's time for me to sum up the two years I had in NJ.
If I had to describe NJ in no more than 7 words, it would be: "a bittersweet experience under a common oppression"
Why bittersweet?
Although the College management made me have a rude awakening as to how harsh and cruel a bureaucracy can be, it made me more ready to face the world in the future. The cold and twisted world. So in an ironic way, NJ has taught me to hate and be prepared for society because it behaves exactly like one, if not even worse.
But of course, I don't abhor NJ. That's because it is here I met people that I would never forget for the rest of my life. People that have grown up with me throughout these two years, my fellow friends, and people that have nurtured and guided me, my dedicated teachers.
And for that, I will definitely miss NJ when I finally leave this place, because the shared experiences with others here definitely outweigh the shitty treatment of students by the management.
Looking back, it has been a real roller coaster for the past two years. From the very first day to the very last...
Entering the college gates,
Following along the line of other students.
Feelings of excitement, feelings of uncertainty.
Gathering in the hall,
First friends are made.
Orientation started,
Games, fun, bonding and laughter.
Dancing the night away,
The end was just too soon.
Tried out a few CCAs,
Went for the OAC Camp.
Met new friends there.
Split apart from each other,
Into an abyss of apprehension.
Thrown into a new class,
What the heck was AIMS?
Air con classroom,
Epic tables and switches,
Seat was stolen,
Doesn't matter.
Made first friend,
Sitting at my side,
Made many other friends around,
A kind of bonding never found anywhere else.
Attending CCA trainings,
Introduced to climbing.
Getting my fitness up.
EXCO elections.
Thought about it for a few days
Decided why not?
Went ahead and ran for what I wanted
Glad to have much encouragement from my peers
Got the title in the end,
Was really excited and happy about all the possibilities.
With shaking legs
I emerge from the background
Steadying my voice,
The first command is given.
Been through many trainings,
Both tough and fun
Taking part in competitions
Even though we suck
We are new and young
With a bright future ahead of us.
The burning passion inside
Kept me going on and on
There was no stopping motivation so strong
More of them joined
Things were looking hopeful
Until the day
The college announced the dreadful
Tearing it down,
The tears rolled down,
But not my spirit,
It kept going on.
Breaking school rules
And getting caught
Laughing about it later
Without much thought
Foolish behaviour
And childish antics
Having fun with my class
Playing around
Doing stupid things
Cracking retarded jokes
A special kind of bonding.
Promos came and went,
Did quite well,
Offered H3 subjects,
Chem here I come.
PW group mates
Rushing late at night
Driven and fun
Oral presentation
Last of the last
A joyous celebration
Of the end of SH1
The dreaded year began
Endless mugging
Trying to make ends meet and save time
Priorities. Prioritize.
Orientation.
Dance pracs.
So many things in mind.
Overworked, tired, coming back dead at night.
OGL
A fun time
Doing what I could
New classroom
Same classmates
Wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
More joined climbing
It was expanding
More competitions to come
Juniors soon arrived
Did the best I could
To impart all I can
So that they would survive
First disappointment
A lesson learnt
That over active
Is not for boulder
Then came the moment
Where I was ready
To pump up the team
And beat the fest
Time to step down
Hang up my gear
But I made a promise
Which I would fulfill
Once all this is over.
The split occurred
Mixed emotions
But contented nonetheless
It was the birth of a new CCA
A dream that finally came true
captain appointed
Tasks passed down
Things began anew
A pang of guilt
But it will pass
Time will heal
So both would last
Prelims came really quick
Results weren't that good
But I would make it worthwhile in the end
For A levels, I should.
Sorry guys but it was a very retarded attempt at a summary/poetic way of writing the key events that happened in my JC life. Of course, I didn't cover all of it. It's just too much. Anyway, I plan to dedicate a long post after As to every single person that has made a difference in my JC life, one way or another.
Through it all, no matter how much we always blabber about how NJ sucks, I think every one of us would still have a piece of NJ in our heart. A memory that would never be forgotten.
I have made the winning move. Finally it is over. I think. But I hope I didn't indirectly make a scapegoat out of someone else.
Anyway yesterday my parents were talking to me about random stuff. Then my mum said that a lot of my cousins were alr getting attached, even the cousins that were younger than me (apparently my 15 year old male cousin has a Gf wow how great I'm sure it would last forever <3) and that my aunts kept repeating over and over again through their gossips "everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, all except Joshua"
Oh wow guess what. I am fucking taking A levels. And it is not a norm for every 18 year old to be attached, so why do u expect me to have one? And it's not like my male cousins had girlfriends when they were my age (ok maybe except one of them). But still, I am only 18. And besides, I'd rather find that one perfect relationship, than just settle for anyone and anytime and end up breaking up over 5 times in my teenage years. That just shows so much about your character.
There's nothing to be proud of to have over 5 divorces. But there's something to admire if someone marries the perfect person and loves him or her for the rest of their life wholeheartedly. Same goes for relationships. I think it's not something to be taken lightly and should be considered wisely before getting into one for real. But of course, there have been past experiences which I feel really guilty about at times. And some of them even feel like I just let it slip away. It makes me wonder if I will ever find that someone some day.
And to whatever I thought would be possible after As, I guess it's no longer possible anymore. But well, I can't live with myself if I live under a false pretense and lie to myself that it would all be ok and if I create fake emotions for myself. It's sad when the person you think you truly like, probably doesn't give a shit about you right now. And at the same time, you unwittingly do the same to those that like you. A one way love is never a good thing, and it often ends up in shit.
4 more days. 27 more days. 35 more days. 60 more days. There are many countdowns in life. But sometimes we have to stop counting the days, and start making the days count.
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