Depressing times

So recently I've been feeling very sad because my finger injury got worse again and I could feel another injury coming on my right hand fourth finger while I was climbing on Sunday. Sigh. It's damn depressing that I can't climb properly any more. I really want to get this injury sorted out. But I think the only way for me to fix it is to stop climbing. Completely. Maybe I should take a hiatus for a month. It's gonna be damn sian but I've got no other choice. Climbing is a big part of my life and without it I just feel so empty... Oh well :( I think I should also go for physio or see a doctor about this too. Last night I even had a nightmare that I couldn't climb any more and my fingers were permanently injured. I woke up halfway through the night in cold sweat only to feel the same pain again in my finger when I clenched my fist. This has been haunting me for so long I can't take it any more. I'm getting so frustrated over it. Maybe I should find something else to kill time while I take a hiatus. In the mean time I'll still continue to do my own PT which is not finger intensive in order to stay fit. 

Anyway, today one of the greatest leaders of my nation passed away. I remember reading one of his books when I was young, it was a thick book that my father owned which I managed to finish after a few weeks. Back then I didn't understand some parts of his life which he wrote about but after I grew older I realized what a badass he is. I respect and admire his leadership and how he has left behind a legacy. I don't get how some people can be so vicious with their comments about his death. No matter how much you may not like the way he ran the country, he is, after all, still a human being just like everyone else. And upon hearing the news this morning while doing my own PT, I decided to do 91 pull ups to honor this great man, since he lived till the age of 91. Maybe it may seem stupid to you guys, but I think it's my small way of paying respect to him just like how many are changing their profile picture to black and white. 

Okay I'm getting tired. I hope that one day I'll wake up and the pain from my finger will just disappear. 

Things happen but we don't really know why

Hi everyone. 

So the past two days have been quite exciting. Went to watch the nj climbers compete in NSBC on Thursday. The girls did alright, with one of them getting into finals. It was quite sad for the guys though cause many of them didn't do as well as they wanted or thought they could, but that's actually just part and parcel of every competition. Sometimes you're on, sometimes you're off. But honestly I think the guys need to work on their mentality when they approach a route. The way I saw most of them climbed, a lot of them had that tremble in their legs and arms. It's something very common in competitions which just shows that they're nervous and hesitant because they aren't confident in themselves to finish the route. Self confidence is really important in sending a route. It's about finding the psyche within yourself to complete it. and I think that the way they approach their training should be the same as well, to always treat every route they do during training as a competition route and to take every attempt seriously. The guys are all strong in my opinion, but it takes more than just strength to be a good climber. I think I've said this before and I'll say it again, the best climbers are the smartest ones. Anyway I hope they work on their competition mindset and have more mock comps in preparation for the upcoming Pumpfest, which I'll be taking part in as well haha. About 3 more months left to Pumpfest. I don't know if at my current state I'm ready to get into finals, but I've set a goal for myself. I'll have to be able to do a a V7 for bouldering and lead a 7B so that I know no matter how off form I may be on the day I compete, I'll still be able to make finals. Time to start training more intensely. I can feel myself improving slightly but I still haven't jumped to the next level yet. Fortunately I've got some advice here and there from experienced climbers at my work place so I roughly know how I'm going to plan my training schedule. 

After NSBC I went to climb with some of my CA friends and the full timers LOL. the routes that we got were really interesting. I'm really amazed at how one of the full timers was able to set good routes easily without having to modify them. I was quite satisfied with my climb that day because I managed to finish most of the routes except for a two of them which I will name as The Long Wan and Green Fingers.

So the next day, friday, I had my last coaching session with my pri sch kids. It went well and I'm happy to see them improve since the first time they started training. A few of the better ones are able to complete 6As and speed climb really fast for kids their age. Hope they do well for their competition next week! After the coaching, I took a nap at the counter cause I wasn't feeling so good due to the lack of sleep the previous night, which sort of pissed off one of the full timers lol. It's the third time I pissed him off since I started work here. I can still remember the first time I met him, he told me he is the boss you would want to please and not anger. well I guess I didn't really follow his advice. After waking up and feeling slightly better, I went to get dinner and then climbed with the span, buff and his gf haha. This time i managed to send The Long Wan and complete one my other projects which I set for myself on Monday called Dystatic. Still can't do Green Fingers though. Oh yeah, I also helped to route test one of the newly set lead routes by one of the full timers. Felt like a guinea pig cause many of the tiles were loose and the last tile was cracked. But it was fun haha, luckily I didn't take any bad falls. Left slightly earlier to take a long walk home.

Going to work later, taking the mopping shift again haha. Next month is going to be hectic again, I think. 

La Dura Life

How's life everyone? life has been great for me recently :)

The kids fiesta went quite well. I was working the whole day on Saturday. It was not as busy as I expected it to be. Anyway I've got nothing much to say about that day cause I don't remember much, everything was quite smooth except for one kid who refused to come down and cried non stop on the auto belay and I had to climb up and coax him for almost 15 minutes to come down. In the end he resorted to down climbing most of the route but couldn't down climb any further when he was only about a metre off the ground cause he was too tired. In the end I had to use force and yank his hands off which made him cry even louder. The auto belay lowered him down safely immediately. I didn't feel bad at all doing that, because he was really getting on my nerves. I like kids and I am okay with working with them, but a kid like that  just frustrates me too much. I'd never want a kid that's so stubborn and wimpy lol. But anyway I think that I probably ruined his childhood and etched a traumatic experience in his memory that will last a lifetime LOL. However, most of the kids that came to try were nice and obedient. Some of them climbed really well and enjoyed themselves a lot. 

Oh yeah I also set some routes at the kids fiesta wall because I was bored. It was fun cause most of the routes were dynamic!

Went to CA to climb on Sunday morning and it was a good climbing session as usual. Then went with the span to suntec to start our second shift for kids fiesta. It was non stop belaying because it was more crowded that day but everything was alright in the end. Had a nice Carl's jr dinner after that and then went home.

Today was a thrilling day. Joined the nj climbers for their training this morning and helped to coach the current SH1s a bit. I think that this batch has started off really strong. 

They also celebrated huiyin's birthday by surprising her with some route challenge. They pasted unglam photos of her all over the Boulder gym and she had to traverse to collect all of them and to finally get her present at the ending tile haha I thought it was a very cool idea! Anyway Happy Birthday Huiyin! Idk if she'll even read this LOL. Allez for NSBC this Thursday, go and crush the competition! It's amazing to see that she has grown so much from climbing since she's the most lao jiao nj climber who has trained with 4 batches so far. 

Oh yeah, I also managed to complete this dyno route which I thought was impossible a few weeks ago. I saw some other climbers trying it before and I also tried it a few times last time but I just can't seem to stick the dyno. Today I was so happy that I could finally stick it and even campus the next few moves which looked really sick when I first saw the other climbers do it. Even though I ended up with a bleeding finger because of that route, I was still satisfied with my climbing standard so far despite the injury, but of course there's still a lot more to work on. And to make things even better, today my finger injury didn't feel as pain as before and when I climbed I didn't feel a thing. Maybe it was the adrenaline kicking in but I feel that I'm able to transit back to normal training again. 

Work went alright, with a few bitchy and douchebag customers that I encountered. These people really spoil my mood but I have no choice but to entertain them even though in my mind I feel like cutting their rope when they are climbing. I don't understand why they have to be so rude to me or other workers for no reason. Maybe they could be in a bad mood, but that doesn't give them any right to vent it out on us and spoil our mood too. If only they could be in our shoes and see how they behave, cause I think it's pretty easy to identify an asshole when you see one. And the worst part is today these customers seem like they are out to make our lives miserable. I think such people deserve a speical place in hell and a permanent ban. We don't need people like that in the climbing community. I don't like to rage and I'm trying to control my anger but sometimes I just can't help but feel outraged. Sigh. Why do people rage at others? Why do they gain pleasure from seeing others suffer or making others feel inferior? Why are we created with this emotion of anger? It does nothing but destroys us, and those around us as well. It's something I will never understand. 

Okay it's getting late again. Time to sleep. Hope the days ahead will be happy times :) 

Wear your heart on your sleeve, make things hard to believe

Hello guys. I have been quite busy lately so didn't really have time to blog about my life. I'll try and recall significant events that have happened over the past few days. 

Worked on Monday. Nothing much happened or maybe some stuff did happen but I just can't recall. 

So on Tuesday I did coaching and then I went to climb with span and caveman and then bouldered with span and Amirul, another one of my CA friends who came late lol. He gave us some nice routes to try which I really enjoyed. Oh yeah, before that I kept trying this new 6C luminous yellow route on the auto belay system. It's so freaking hard I don't understand how I can do 7A but struggle with 6C zzz. 

Anyway after that day, calves brought me to see his shifu to fix my finger. I was really grateful to him that he offered me help because I was getting quite desperate already. He helped to set my finger and he was really good at doing it because I couldn't feel any pain any more when I did a half crimp. However, after the session I could still feel a slight pain when I full crimp. 

Wednesday. Woke up and my fingers felt pain again :( went for coaching again, it was alright. After that went to climb with becca, another one of my CA friends. Wanted to do lead climbing at the outdoor wall but then the floor was wet from the rain so we did top rope instead. Kept trying the same 6C again but still couldn't finish it. Was quite frustrated that during one of my attempts, I managed to do the crux that was giving me a lot of problem but then I slipped after sticking the move. Damnnnn it. That was the closest I ever got. But I will finish it the next time I try it. Went home after that and almost kicked my boss who was running towards me from the back while walking to the MRT station LOL. Instinctive reaction haha. Went home feeling quite sad :(

Thursday was okay. Oh wait Thursday was only yesterday. Okay so yesterday I woke up early in the morning to go do some pull up exercises. I wanted to find out what my max pull ups was. So I stretched my arms, warmed up a little, then started on the pull ups. In the end I managed to do 32 without shaking off. I'll try and train harder by doing more pull up sets so that I can eventually reach my goal of 50, and my other goal of doing 5 consecutive one arms LOL. After that I slacked at home till it was time to go to work. It was my second time working retail and everything went quite smoothly. Also sold/cut/measured ropes for some ang moh customer. It was the first time I cut rope! Wanted to sell a hangboard to some guy but then I couldn't find it in the store no matter how long I searched. Funny how the stock says there's still 6 left but I didn't see it anywhere. In the end the guy left cause it took too long. Felt quite bad about that even though he was okay with it and I apologized. Other than that, the shift was quite uneventful. Oh yeah, I also fooled around with Sab in the shop because we were so bored haha. 

It was so hilarious hahaha! Who would buy a chalk bag like that?!

took the longer way back home that night and it was a nice walk :)

Today, Friday! Woke up even earlier than usual because today was my BTT! When I went into the testing room, I was assigned the computer station 34 :O it reminded me of how I was just talking to someone recently that my lucky number is 34. Guess today I was really lucky too, because I finished the test in 5 mins when it was supposed to be a 50 mins test LOL and I also got a full score 50/50 :D ok I know it's easy and all, but I'm glad that I'm one step closer to my license. It was also quite funny cause when I left the testing room to go apply for my PDL, some woman walked in to the room saying sorry to the examiner that she was late then the examiner said to her while pointing at me "people already pass liao now then you come" LOL. I don't understand why the people working there are mostly old uncles who are always so grumpy and rude. Anyway after queuing for so damn long for the PDL, I finally got it then went to apply for my FTT and practical lessons at kovan. Going to have my first lesson next Tuesday, quite excited about it!

Went to climb with some of my nj juniors for a while before going for coaching after that. Today was so tiring cause the kids were being more playful than usual and it was difficult to manage them while belayig at the same time. But other than that everything went okay. Kids will be kids after all, their curiosity makes them adventurous to do stupid things haha. I'm sure I was sort of like that as well when I was young. After the coaching was over, went to climb with the NJ climbing team in the Boulder gym cause they were training there that day. They gave me some good routes to try out and I think I'll work on the incomplete ones the next time I climb. 

Today was quite a painful climbing session as well. Same finger was in pain again and I got an internal blister on my pinky right finger -.-

:( I'll try and use more pictures on my blog cause some people commented that my blog is too wordy.

Now I'm home and just waiting to fall asleep. Tmr's going to be a long day cause I'm working the whole day for some kids fiesta event at suntec. I hope it'll be fun :)

Hearts Burst Into Fire

This morning started off quite badly. I was furious because of an argument I had with my mum but now that I think back I shouldn't have lost my cool. Even if I was right or even if I was wrong, I should never lose my temper. That's something I should really remind myself next time as well. I'll never want to rage at anyone ever again. Anyway I was so angry that I was still breathing heavily even when I was on the way to CA. 

So I climbed with some of the Sunday climbers today at CA. I decided to tape up my finger because I didn't want to worsen the injury. It helped a lot because it prevented me from over exerting that finger. Did the new routes on the flat wall of the level 2 Boulder gym and managed to finish all of them. Still can't do the green or blue on the incline though. With this injury, I don't know if I'll be able to improve any further. It's really been a pain. I wish I could just wake up one morning and not feel the strain on my finger any more. Every morning I'll try to clench my fist but the same ache occurs.  Sigh. Anyway we decided to set our own routes eventually. Overall it was a good day climbing because I think I climbed smartly today and got better at my route reading/visualization. Ended off with pull up pyramids of 1 to 10 and 10 to 1 again. Didn't want to do hangboard and campus rung training cause anything that'll require finger strength is going to hurt so bad. Finger strength was always one of my strengths in climbing. I hope it won't become a bane. I swear if there's anything that'll make me extremely happy right now, is for my finger to recover. After that I'll stop being such a reckless bastard. 

after that when I got home I decided to go for a short run again. This time I was wearing a singlet as well lol cause it was still evening time and the sun had not set yet. Ran 5km this time and it wasn't as shiok as last night but it still felt good to run after quite some time. 

Working tmr again for some exp climb program in the afternoon with the span cause he finally ORDed and is working at CA again and then after that I'll start my counter shift till closing time at 11pm.  

Maybe tmr morning I'll go do some light exercises hmm. Think I'll sleep early tonight, if I can. 

I have so much to say but you're so far away

Hello guys. Work today went well, took a new part timer for her on job training and I hope I managed to teach her well enough. Nothing else interesting happened today during work, everything went as per normal. Some of my CA friends went lead climbing today and I just couldn't help but watch them climb in envy. I want to climb so badly. But this injury is really holding me back. I swear when this finger recovers I'll be more careful next time. So much precious training time wasted. Anyway I'm finally climbing tmr with the Sunday climbers. Hope it'll be a great time as always :) 

So after finishing work we rushed to close everything and it was much faster today since there were 3 of us instead of the usual 2 on duty. Went home and immediately started doing my pt. Went easy today as I decreased the number of sets since I'll be climbing tmr and I don't want to tire myself out that much. After I was done somehow I didn't feel that it was enough of a workout so I decided to go for a short run around my neighbourhood. Went to run to places I actually never knew existed. And it was also the first time I ran topless in public lol because I was too lazy to wear back my t-shirt again after exercising at home. Covered probably about 4km and it felt so good to feel the cool night breeze on your bare body I didn't feel tired at all. If anything, the run made me feel more refreshed. 

Okay that's all for today. Goodnight guys. 

And in the night we'll wish this never ends

My fingers are peeling again. It's almost as if they're trying to tell me how much they miss climbing. This finger injury is really pissing me off, it still hurts till today. I just don't care anymore. I'll just hope that it'll recover by itself eventually. Meanwhile, I'll keep my climbing sessions less intense..

Coaching today went okay. There were more kids that joined today and we started training the better ones in speed climbing. Nothing much to say except that I finally realized the difficulty of handling kids. It's hard to grab their attention sometimes and it's not easy to scold them because it'll always look bad on you if you scold a kid. Unless the kid is your kid. lol but other than that all was fine. I think they're generally well behaved and are just eager to climb and curious about everything, just like most kids their age. I think I was even more playful and mischievous than some of them when I was that young. Some of them finally remember my name haha. One of them even said their brother's name was also Joshua then I told him now he has two brothers LOL. looking forward to the next coaching session next Wednesday and Friday. 

Anyway today was a really great day :) I hope there'll be more days like this in the future. I'm reading this book called Brave New World and after reading the first few pages I was already mind blown. Don't think it'll be that dry for me :) now at least there's something else to keep me occupied when work gets boring haha. Working again tmr, may everything go smoothly :)

 

Candle's burning without a flame on

Okay so this month is going to be busier than I thought cause from now on I'll be working in the retail side of CA as well :O looking at my work schedule, I'll be working almost everyday... Hope I'll have time for driving lessons :( 

Went to climb yesterday with the Indian! It was a good climbing session despite the short break and an unrecovered finger which still hurts up till now sigh. Managed to finally red point the blue 7A which I mentioned about in an older blog post and also flashed the new yellow 7A which I was really satisfied with :D the Indian was climbing efficiently too and I think the muscle memory helps us a lot. Hope he'll progress to do the 6C+s and 7As soon! Ended off the session with pyramids pull ups training from 1 to 10 then 10 to 1. 

Work today went pretty smoothly, nothing much to say. Came back home from work at about 8.30pm with more than enough time to do my own PT. While exercising I started thinking about some stuff. Like how hard it is for skinny guys to actually get buff. I've long accepted the fact that I will never be buff because of my body type and my genes. I can only hope to get leaner and fitter with more exercise and that's it. I can NEVER have the ideal male body. but that's okay for me, because I don't need that body at all for climbing. In fact, I'm happy having a body like that. It just got me thinking how lazy fat guys are. No offense to fat guys if you're a fat guy and you're reading this, but I think it's way harder to gain weight as compared to losing it. Why do I say so? It's cause fat guys already have the potential to become muscular because they have the fats. All they need to do is to have the discipline to put in the effort to exercise and convert that fat into muscle. But for skinny guys? How the hell are you supposed to create something out of NOTHING? That's why whenever I see a fat guy, most of the time I assume he is a lazy ass that doesn't care about his health and fitness. Sorry if I have offended anyone by typing this but I'm just stating my views. And if you really are a fat guy reading this then stop wasting time reading this!! Go take up a sport go and exercise go and run etc. there's so much potential in that big chunk of shit on your body. 

Okay Idon't know why but I just felt like ranting about it. Maybe I'm just tired from exercising so much. But I swear I will change. I will become so much fitter and stronger than I ever was, just watch me. 

I hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene.

Hi guys I'm actually blogging on the midnight of 28 feb so the date is 1 March. Ok can. 

February has finally ended and this month has been really interesting. The first half of the month has been intense because I climbed so much, till the point I got myself injured :( the next half of the month was terrible because I had to force myself to abstain from climbing. Anyway, this month has been interesting because of my job at CA. Got to meet some cool people and make some new friends :) next month is going to be even more interesting because I'll be involved in more climbing programs which is what I wanted to do when I took up this job. I really want to help spread the interest of climbing to others because it is a sport that has changed me for the better, so I hope it may do the same for others too. Honestly, few people can say that they genuinely like their job or feel that they're doing something for a good cause. Yeah this job may not get me much cash, but I joined knowing that earning money here wasn't my priority at all. How many people work out of passion and not solely just for money? I really hope I'll be fortunate enough to have a career that I'll truly enjoy next time. 

Anyway work today went well, I came slightly earlier for my shift because I was expecting to see some of my army friends there. But in the end they came late lol. Wish I could climb with them but I think I'll get another chance next time :) work went quite smoothly today and it got less crowded in the evening. Managed to close extremely fast today too haha, we were so efficient that we settled everything 6 minutes after the closing time, so I had enough time to go home and do my own PT! :D did 100 push ups, 100 dips, and with the weights that I have I did 100 tricep press, 100 bicep curls, 100 hammer curls and 100 of the back lift thing idk what's that shit called. Worked on my core after that, did a bit of planks, side planks and crunches but then I started to feel sleepy so I decided to stop damn. But now I don't feel sleepy at all LOL. 

Going for class outing tmr, hope it'll be fun! Missing climbing for it but I think it's best for my finger to avoid climbing for now but I know that I'm lying to myself again -.- 

Don't be a product of other people's expectations but be a product of your own imagination.

Just a quote I thought of today to motivate myself to train :)

Goodnight everyone!