Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The beginning of hell

Great day spent today with nic, went to eat lunch tgt and watch man of steel in 3D which was not bad. There's so many other movies coming up too that I am eager to watch! It was nice catching up with nic again after quite some time. Hope there'll be a class outing soon too.  

Anyway tmr is the beginning of hell, as I return back to camp for infantry pro term. As of now I don't really feel psyched for it, I'm a little reluctant actually. But no matter how I feel I'm still gonna have to drag my ass back to camp again. The book in blues feel especially strong when the book out duration is long. 

It has only been 4 months since I first enlisted. According to the ORD app I am about 20% done with army. Heh. But it still feels so far away, having to ORD in December... Next year LOL. December this year alr feels like a lifetime away.

But it's time to man up and stop whining and just serve my duty to my country.

The next 13 weeks is gonna be hell, but having a clear goal at the end will keep me sane and focused on my training. 

And if I don't get what I want, the choice is clear...

Time to sleep and wake up at an ungodly hour to leave for camp tmr morning. I hope there's no confinement for this weekend!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Professional Term

Foundation Term ended on Wednesday with an overnight 24km march from tuesday night to wednesday morning.

I was struggling a lot during the first 12km of the march, especially during the 9km-12km point where I almost fainted because I was feeling very giddy and light headed. I think it was because of the helmet again which always causes me to lag behind during route marches. and maybe it was also due to consuming too much of the night snacks before I even started the march LOL My physical strength was ebbing away with every step that I took and I was being a burden to the rest. I felt really bad but at the same time I really appreciated everyone's encouragement and help, especially my section mates Ivan and Duncan. But some snide comments from people like "how to go recce like that" (because some of my platoon mates know that i want to go recce) really pissed me off. I wasn't feeling well already, I could have easily fallen out of the march but I chose not to. I'm pretty sure if their head was spinning like mine they would have just knocked out immediately.

so anyway, at the 12km point we had a 1 hour rest. I was so thankful for that. I rested and psyched myself up for the next 12km. That was when my mental strength kicked in even though my body has already given up. For the next 12km I was permanently on insane mode. I didn't even feel shagged after marching a long stretch. I felt like I could go on forever. and that was when I realised I was really stronger than I thought I was. Felt really proud of myself when I completed it in the end. Felt even more proud of being a Lima Cadet because not a single one of us fell out during the march, and we were the only coy that achieved this in the whole of SCS! reflecting upon this, I think the tough training that the commanders made us go through in lima, although it made us feel damn sian because we see other coys getting a hell lot of welfare, it ultimately made us the strongest soldiers who are a cut above the rest.

so with that behind us, we went ahead with the graduation parade without any sleep at all. got our graduation cert and that was that, foundation term was finally over.

It was a really fun experience and I really enjoyed being with all my section mates. But then it was time to say goodbye, when we all got our posting on Wednesday afternoon. when my hell was revealed. because i had been posted to infantry, while most of my other section mates have been posted out to other vocations. sadly, only three of us remained behind in infantry pro term, me, deon and fareez. what made it worse was that fareez was posted to a different section, whereas deon and I remained in section 1. but then deon was most likely going to OOC because of his slip disc injury, which meant that I was going to be facing pro term alone in a completely new section. a new section which I have a really bad first impression about. they are going to be in for some serious culture shock coming to lima after their honeymoon foundation term. I just hope they are able to take it and not OOC. initially, i had thoughts to down PES and just get out of there. but then after thinking it through, I might as well chiong all the way. Though my chances of going to recce have been destroyed, I can still aim to go guards. I just want to go to a unit in which I can chiong all the way, I don't want to be a half fuck infantry soldier. Honestly, I don't see a point going through such tough infantry training only to end up as an instructor in BMT because all the tough training will not be applied at all in leading recruits. I'd rather use the skills I learnt during this pro term to contribute to a unit, no matter how tough people say unit life is and how people may say that I am a fool for not wanting to go become an instructor which is slacker.

to summarise, it's either I chiong all the way to attain the best, or I slack my ass off and become some down PES vocation so I can go climbing everyday.

either way, I will still end up happy. There's no way I'll let the army dictate my life that much.

nothing much to say. the days are passing by in a blur again. gonna try and enjoy this 1 week break as much as I can before hell starts next wednesday. oh yeah, went back to school today to take my graduation cert. bumped into someone unexpectedly. can't believe things have changed so much since the last time. the place has never changed, but now I am a completely different person.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Sleep, Dota, Lepak

3 hours of SDL (supposedly self directed learning)

Took a nap and listened to music, lying on my bed thinking about life...

Oh yeah, can't believe the seniors just had one of their last trainings yesterday. Time really passes so fast. And they're taking part in pumpfest this friday so all the best to them!! wish i could go down to watch but i will probably only book out at night on friday. But who knows, maybe there'll be people to support for finals?:D anw I hope it won't be the end of their climbing journey and that they'll still come back even after their As. but right now it's time for them to mug their ass off and focus everything they've got on their studies to make it all count in the end. If we can do it, I'm sure they can manage it too :)

Getting really bored in army these days. Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to who would just understand everything that I'm going through. Sure, my army friends are approachable and friendly, but talking to someone out there in the civilian world just feels completely different. But I guess everyone that's out there is just too busy with their own lives to care about anything that's going on with mine. Ultimately I can only blame myself for this for making the stubborn decision not so long ago, and now I pay the price of loneliness. 

Ahhhh oh well...

Suck thumb and move on with army. Maybe life will change when I enter uni. 

ORD seems so far away. I've barely been in the army for 4 months. And I still left 1 year and 6 months. Yay.