The Mental Game of Climbing Competitions

So the competitive season for me just ended yesterday during BA's Inter Men qualifiers. I didn't qualify for finals this time as compared to Pumpfest. At first I tried to think about what was the difference that made me do better in Pumpfest than BA. Was it the style of the routes? Or perhaps BA had stronger competitors? Maybe I didn't warm up enough. But I know all of these are excuses. The only reason why I think I didn't do as well yesterday was because I was off form. Somehow I felt like I lost a little confidence in myself after the disappointing Pumpfest finals in which I screwed up a golden opportunity to get a podium finish. I just didn't feel at ease after that and it bothered my mentality a lot. It bothered me so much that I couldn't really climb properly during the training we had after that on Tuesday. 

Which brings me to the mental game of climbing competitions. Half the battle is already won when you know that you're prepared mentally. I always know that I'm on form when I am able to flash the first route I attempt. But yesterday was the first time in a long while that I lost that first flash, and it was at that moment I knew it wasn't going to end well. My mind was already somewhere else even before I entered the competition zone. I still had so much regret and disappointment from Pumpfest that I lost some of the believe I had in myself; I became more hesitant and doubtful when climbing. 

Maybe those of you reading this are properly thinking that I'm exaggerating. But I strongly feel that the mental game plays such a big role in competitions these days. Most of your fellow competitors are equally strong, the only difference that sets us apart is how motivated and prepared we are. 

I think I'll have to take some time to recollect my thoughts and get over what has happened. I swear I cannot let this happen again. I swear the next time I get into finals there will no longer be any screw ups. Special term is starting next week, with lessons every week on Mondays and Wednesdays. Maybe keeping my mind occupied will be good to get back my mental game again. I'll probably get back to leading again too cause I can feel my endurance dropping. 

I don't know how long I'm gonna be stuck in inter for but I'm afraid it will be really long. I just have to move on and stay focused.