The fear of making mistakes

Today I was sitting alone at Engine studying for my upcoming midterms this Saturday. Suddenly, one of my course mates whom I am acquainted with approached me and asked me about an assignment that was due soon. While we were discussing about it, I realised that he did one of the questions different from the way I approached it. Apparently he used some method that was not exactly taught in lecture but was taught in tutorial. However, the way I perceived the question was quite different and we both tried to explain to each other our rationale, only for him to end up saying that quite a lot of people did his method and it was most likely correct. He asked me why didn't I ask other people/my friends about it and I just shrugged the question off. Well I was really thankful that there are people out there that bother to discuss questions with me because an intellectual discussion is always insightful; seeing how others think and their method of problem solving is quite interesting. But that's not the point of me writing this post. What really got me thinking was how much I feared to make mistakes. Hearing that his answer was most likely correct because of a majority rule, made me have my own doubts over my answer. But I read through my answer over and over again, even now as I'm typing this, and I am still more convinced by the way I approached it. I thought of changing my answer to his, it seemed so tempting. Then I stopped myself because I realised that I'm not really learning this way. I guess it is one of those scenarios where it seems like the whole world is going right but you choose to go left instead. It may seem like the wrong way to others but to me it's right. Anyway, this assignment is graded, and after much thought I decided that I'm just going to submit my original answer anyway. I know this whole post may seem trivial to you guys reading it, but it really got me thinking that so many of us are scared to make mistakes in uni. We constantly seek out the affirmation and assurance from our peers to validate that our answers are correct; or to follow the crowd so that we don't stick out like a sore thumb. From this considerably small and insignificant incident, I have learnt that I cannot be afraid to fail anymore. I have to learn to take risks. If I don't do well, it is only because I am just not smart enough. I would rather do badly knowing that it was my own genuine effort than do well because I just copy pasted everything that someone else wrote. Honestly, I wasn't convinced by the other answer because it just seemed too far fetched to me. Maybe that was the correct answer, I don't know, but eventually I will find out, and from this process I will truly learn. I have been chasing grades for far too long that I have lost sight of the true purpose of an education. Sadly to say, I see this in so many Singaporean students because we are all just aiming for the grades, I don't know how many of us actually care about what we study. I don't deny that I am guilty of this too. Today I've learnt to take a stance. I will no longer be overly obsessed with getting good grades, I will just do my best to enjoy the process of learning. With that process comes multiple failures and setbacks, but I think that is the best way for me to have the most worthwhile and fulfilling academic experience. Getting good grades will just be a bonus and not a goal. I hope this mindset of mine will stay strong for my remaining time here in NUS. It's been a long day.