Friday, August 21, 2015

Uni life

Hello everyone. it's been quite a while since I've blogged because I was caught up in many things recently. 

Uni life has been surprisingly smooth so far. Right now it's week 3 and I'm getting the hang of school life again. I did struggle at the start as expected, but it didn't take me that long to reboot my brain again and start thinking. It was really tough at first to recall all the concepts and knowledge that I learnt in JC but I'm glad that I managed to in the end. They were all just lying dormant in the back of my mind, luckily I could easily retrieve them again. So yeah, I'm coping well with the workload and pace so far. Don't know whether I can say the same for long though. 

Uni life has got me thinking a lot. I came in with the mindset that I'll pursue climbing and my studies. I wouldn't care about a social life because I always believe that friendships should come naturally, which is why I don't get why people actively seek out popularity and involve themselves in so much politics. Life is already complicated enough. 

Anyway, I'm really glad to have made a few good friends so far in uni. At first I was quite apprehensive about making new friends cause I choose my friends wisely. But now I think it isn't as bad as I thought :) and of course, I'm grateful to have an amazing girlfriend by my side :) I feel like our relationship just gets stronger with every day. It really makes me wonder if the honeymoon period for couples that people talk about even applies to us. It just feels different and special to me. Thanks sab for being my trusty lead belayer, my PT partner, my study buddy, my everything :) 

Recently I took part in the NUS climbing team trials along with many others and I'm glad that I got selected into the team. Sab got in too and we're really excited for the next 4 years of training as part of the NUS team. I'm also glad that two other strong climbers that I know got into the team too and we'll be training together. I just feel damn sad that caveman didn't get in. I thought for sure he'd get in since I got in and we knew each other. He definitely deserves to get in based on how he did for his trials as well. I just don't understand how things turned out this way. I just hope that somehow I can help to pull him in or maybe he'll get in next year instead. In all honesty, NUS climbing has just rejected a talent. I just hope that he won't be disheartened by this and continue training hard and climbing strong. At least that's what I'd do if I didn't get in. Truth be told, I'm definitely not that crazy about getting into the team compared to others, but I do know that I am very passionate about climbing and I think very is an understatement. So team or no team, I would still pursue this sport till my fingers turn raw and my forearms burn and I hope everyone else would too. Climbing is something very personal to me. It is because of climbing that I've grown stronger and bigger size, no longer the scrawny little kid I used to be. It is because of climbing I met the best bunch of friends I could ever ask for, and of course a girl that brought happiness into my life. It is because of climbing I learnt how to deal with failure and setbacks. It is because of climbing I've learnt to be humble of my strengths because there'll always be someone stronger than me. It is because of climbing I gained confidence and determination in whatever I set out to do. 

So now that I'm in the team, I've set out a clear goal for myself: to get into inter finals by year 1 and podium to promote to open by year 2. Just typing this out already makes me feel doubtful if I can do it, but I think with the right training and mindset I'll be able to achieve this. 

This is it then. Here I go. May I survive this first semester. 

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Frustration

I'm just feeling so frustrated with my climbing lately that I can't sleep right now. 

It feels like I've been stagnating for a long time and it even feels like I got worse at it. Maybe it's because I haven't been doing my PT. but I just can't find the right time to start again and I just have no motivation at all to train. 

This isn't good at all and I feel like I'm on the path to getting rekted at bouldermania and Rockmaster. Sigh. I need to get back my climbing standard again and improve. I need to find that burning fire inside of me again. Where has it gone to now? I feel weaker on routes and I give up so easily these days. I don't ever want to get this feeling for climbing; it's a sport that means so much to me. But when you start to see no progress at all, then what's there to enjoy? 

I don't even know if I have hit a plateau or dropped to a lower plateau. I want to train but this time period is just too uncertain since school is starting soon. Maybe I'll find the motivation to train when school starts as a way for me to destress? Or maybe that thought will just backfire because I'll have no time at all to train because of the workload. 

I feel so angry at myself these days for climbing like shit nowadays. It's as if there's a mental barrier in my head that just makes me tire out faster and give up easier. My endurance is shit cause my forearms get pumped so easily now and my arms turn into jelly even for jugs. My power is shit cause I can't even campus as well as I used to any more. My strength is shit cause my fingers get hurt so easily. My footwork and technique has always been shit there's not much to say about that. I need to get my shit together and start climbing properly again. I'm not like this. My climbing isn't like this. I am so much better than this. I'm sorry to those reading this and think that I am crazy for ranting stuff like that late at night, but it's just been bothering me a lot lately that I suck more at climbing these days. I hope better days are ahead of me.