New Year's Eve. 2012 has been such an eventful year, and overall I think it was a good year despite having to face the daunting A levels and facing many other hardships.
So I woke up kinda late today, around 12.30pm. Checked my phone and saw a lot of messages on the whatsapp chat, and found out that the span and buff were going OS to climb today. I actually intended to climb alone today but ended up setting off for OS to climb with them instead. 2 of the juniors were there too: hc and monkey queen, who also brought two other friends to try out bouldering with them. They were probably itching to climb since they had to go for council retreat and could not make it for the climbing overseas trip :P
Anyway, I felt really on form today and managed to complete some blue routes. I think I'm finally getting back to my past climbing standard. It's a waste that I'm not able to take part in gravical in jan, but I will definitely be going down to support the juniors :D don't really care that all of this would be put to waste when I enlist, because climbing will definitely be my lifelong passion and it won't be so easily taken away by NS.
Last night I was watching a YouTube video of Chris Sharma being interviewed about his tips in climbing. One of his tips was that you should not be so rigid in your climbing trainings, you should only climb when you have the inspiration to. His point was that just like an artist, he can only paint good paintings when he has the inspiration to do so. You can't force him to paint every two days if he does not have the spark in him. He said that the best way to improve fast in climbing was just to find that motivation and inspiration that will spur you on and make you never get bored of climbing. He even admitted that there were some moments in his life when he just felt that he doesn't feel like climbing at all. And he really stopped. For someone who is so pro with 20 years of experience, one would think that he probably spends his whole life climbing. But to him, climbing is only one major part of his life, and there are much more fulfilling things out there that he can achieve, such as spending time with his family or trying out new sports.
I guess that explains why every climber would have his on and off days in climbing. You can't blame the climber, because it just depends on the very day itself, whether or not the climber has that drive to be able to trust his or her grip to stick the hold and to climb with grace.
So since it's gonna be 2013, how about a New Year's Resolution?
Nope, not gonna make one, because I'll definitely not follow it. For 2012, my resolution was to not cry at all for the whole year. WELL I FAILED because I cried once. But anyway, since 2013 would be mostly about serving NS, I just hope I won't get severely injured. And this is more a wish rather than a resolution.
Ok that's it for today LOL
Monday, December 31, 2012
Climbing Overseas Trip 2012
Day 1, 27 Dec
Woke up really early to leave for school. Spent the entire night before packing all my equipment into my bag which looked bulky in the end but it was surprisingly light. My mum gave me and xx a lift to school and we arrived quite early. MG was already there and soon the rest started arriving too. Went to the equipment cage to withdraw all the necessary equipment with some of them and after waiting for a while for the latecomers, we loaded our stuff on to the bus and were finally on our way off to KL! Sadly some of the juniors could not go for the trip since they had to go for council retreat instead.
During the bus ride, we mostly played card games which I keep getting owned at because I'm not a very good player. Talked a bit and also slept a bit, listening to music at the same time. We stopped at a rest point halfway for lunch, then proceeded on with the rest of the journey.
So when we finally reached KL, we headed for Camp 5, which was the largest indoor climbing gym in Asia if I'm not wrong. It was literally a climber's haven, with every time of climbing available there and seemingly unlimited climbs to try out. Seeing the towering high wall that had three overhangs reminded me of those extreme walls in international lead climbing competitions. Some day when I'm really strong enough, I would return and conquer that wall! Anyway, partnered with the span for the trip and we tried out some natural rock formation wall which was a good experience since Singapore does not have such walls in their climbing gyms. It felt like natural climbing but the next day would make me realise that it was totally different. After that we went to lead climb some 6A+ route which actually made me pumped. My forearms became completely numb and my veins were popping out like shit. It had been a long time since I last pumped up because it rarely happens to me. Was feeling quite worried since getting pumped on the very first route I attempted for the day was not a very good sign. But in the end, we managed to complete a few other routes around the 5C to 6A+ range. Didn't dare to venture out to 6B because my lead climbing still sucks, especially because of my lousy clipping in skills which makes me lock in too much with one arm. tiny eyes was very suay that day because he kana a rope burn on his leg while he was climbing, but it ended up being the centre of laughter because of the spray that Jups used on his injury. Hope he will recover soon, but it looks like he's gonna get a memorable scar from it. Anyway, we climbed for quite long and then went down to the mall for dinner. It's kinda cool that Camp 5 is located in a shopping mall. After dinner, we went back up to Camp 5 and some of us, including me, went to boulder in the boulder gym. The wall layout was interesting because of the inner tsunami walls with insane inclines that even made Jups grunt a couple of times. But on that night, we mostly tried the routes on the less intense walls that were more balance type routes rather than the powerful ones.
After a tiring day of climbing, we headed for our hotel. It was pretty funny that those sleeping in my room at first thought we were gonna get a room with no attached toilet and were suanned for that, but we ended up getting a room with an attached toilet instead lol. It was great that the guest house had hot showers and free wifi :D spent the night playing cards and talking cock. Couldn't really sleep that night because the air con was too cold for me and kept waking up to go to the toilet to clear all that mucus...
Day 2, 28 Dec
Got up early to bathe in hot water because I really couldn't take the cold at night. We packed our equipment for the day and had toast/nasi lemak for breakfast in the guest house. Once everyone was ready, we set off for Batu Caves by a short bus ride. Felt very excited to try out natural climbing for real :D Anyway we started off by lead climbing first to set up the top rope system so the juniors could climb the routes that we climbed too. To be honest, I haven't got rid of my fear of falling when lead climbing. I'm not afraid of heights, it's just that there is a fear of getting a serious injury if I were to fall above the quickdraw when lead climbing such as slamming into the wall etc. But luckily for that day I didn't get any. Unfortunately, indian fell while trying to clip his second clip that day and decked, slamming against the rocks when he landed. on the bright side, it wasn't a very serious injury so he wouldn't be down PES for NS. hope he'll recuperate from his injury soon :D Natural climbing was definitely the main highlight of the trip. For me, reaching the top and admiring the scenic view was what really made me enjoy the experience. Getting to experiment with different holds on the wall and the ability to smear anywhere I want was also a consolation for me.
Ate lunch halfway at some restaurant and I had prata there which was not bad. Then we went back to climb at Batu Caves again. When we returned, there was some ang moh dude that was climbing extremely high up, way pass any of the anchors that we have reached and it looked as if he was freaking free soloing cause I think there was no rope attached to him. But realised that he wasn't free soloing when even threw a rope down to his buddy to take the auto belay device from him or some shit. really need to find out how that actually works :O
worked on a route called the Monsoon during the later part of natural climbing which was a 6A+ i think. The span leaded it first but couldn't get pass the crux because the crux was seriously wtf for a lead climb. Tried it too myself but also couldn't get pass the same part. Jups went after me to own the route and set up the top rope in the end lol. Some of the junior guys managed to complete it on top rope which is really good, I think they really are improving very fast, and they haven't even started SH2 yet. Back then at this time in SH1, I was definitely nowhere near their standard now.
Overall, natural climbing was a good experience even though it left me with a few cuts and scratches here and there. After natural climbing, we headed back to the guest house to wash up and went for dinner at some coffeeshop nearby. The dinner was delicious, there were many dishes and it felt like some chinese reunion dinner. After dinner, we went to a nearby provision shop to buy some snacks and drinks before heading back to the guest house.
Played cards for a while and talked a lot with the climbers in my batch until late at night. Span, Bird, Calves and I talked about our life experiences until 5.30am and ended up waking up late for breakfast. But it was nice to finally let out a secret I've been keeping for so long which haunts me even until today, and I know I can trust them with it. Anyway, it doesn't really matter since it's already sort of over.
Day 3, 29 Dec
We quickly rushed to brush our teeth and change and we had to skip breakfast. After checking out of the guest house, we headed to Camp 5 again. This time I was going there just to boulder only. Some of the rest decided to go shopping instead. Upon reaching Camp 5, we first bought a T-shirt as a souvenir which had a nice climber design at the back and has the camp 5 logo in front. There was only two black shirts of that design left, so I decided to let captain and squirrel buy it and I bought the pink shirt instead. Don't really care that it's pink, I'm just gonna wear it to climb anyway. And it's not like I have much time left to climb, considering enlistment day is only 45 days more.
After buying the shirts, we went to the lockers to deposit our stuff and clean our climbing shoes using tissue because they got quite muddy from the natural climbing the day before. Bouldering was fun, managed to complete some pretty difficult routes there. The boulder routes there aren't taped up unlike that of Singapore's boulder gyms, they were all identified based on their tile colour, similar to sport climbing. But sometimes that made it confusing as to which is the starting tile or whether or not there are two starting tiles etc. Climbed in the boulder cave too which had a lot of insane routes. Was quite close to completing one of them which was sick because of the crazily inclined tsunami wall and the holds were mostly crimpy pockets. I think I grunted a lot for that route even though I rarely grunt when I climb. Went to eat lunch after that at food republic in the mall and had to rush because we were gonna be late for the meet up time back at camp 5. luckily the lift to camp 5 was very near food republic.
At Camp 5, we packed all our belongings and double checked our valuables and were ready to set off. Took a group photo before leaving on a small boulder that was meant for kids at the entrance of Camp 5. Many photos were taken during the trip and I'm quite eager to view all of them :)
The bus ride home was kinda awkward for me, although I didn't realise it until much later. It's funny how the juniors and seniors always sit separately. Anyway I went to sit in front with the juniors cause I didn't feel like playing cards. Talked cock with them for awhile, then jap boy came and sit beside me and asked if I wanted to hear the new AILD album. It's really cool to know that someone else is a metalhead in NJ :D So we listened to the new album tgt and I agreed with him that the melody for every song like the guitar riffs sounded the same, unlike previous albums such as The Powerless Rise and An Ocean Between Us which were better in my opinion. But maybe cause AILD is going for a new style? idk. anyway I fell asleep halfway while listening, and it's not because I didn't enjoy it but it was because I was really tired. jap boy fell asleep too. and yeah it is actually possible to fall asleep while listening to metal, I do it quite often. Everyone has their own individual song preferences. Anyway, woke up to the junior girls talking behind me and laughing away. Decided to join in their convo, only to realise they were gossiping .__. and it was weird to answer some of their questions at that moment cause my brain was dead and my answers were like half hearted.. but anyway, they asked me stuff about my batch, my family etc. and they also asked who my fav junior was and who was my least fav junior. which I found quite weird. Does that mean they think I hate one of them? :O and to that, I definitely don't. I have no reason to anyway. It's just that I'm not that close to some of them, that's why they may think that way. One of them even said that she thought she was the least fav, but I didn't know what to say so I just kept quiet. But it's definitely not true, I don't have a most fav and least fav junior. I treat all of them equally and I always believed that I can never be certain until I know them for who they really are, and there'll always be time for me to interact with them so I will never be judgemental. To be honest, I hate favouritism. I think that it is wrong to favour a person over other people because the rest would not feel good about it. Even if one chooses to practice favouritism, one should not blatantly let it be known to everyone but one should keep it within one's mind. Favouritism is no different from prejudice; it would only end up hurting others and even ruin relationships. Which is why I never wanted to be treated special, for I am just an average guy that just wants to live a happy life, and nothing more than that.
Anyway I wonder if some of the juniors read my blog lol. Maybe some of them do, idk. It'll definitely be surprising to know who actually reads my blog. So the bus ride got awkward after that cause the juniors were talking among themselves. But I guess I didn't have much to say too because there wasn't anything for me to say. I didn't feel like talking and it wasn't because I was emo or anything. Nah, it was more of because I didn't want to talk for the sake of talking.
anyway upon reaching NJ, we unloaded our equipment quickly and those who's parents were there alr left first while the rest went to pack up the equipment in the equipment cage. Xx got a lift home from my parents too and we talked a bit in the car about random stuff. Found out some info which sort of confirmed my suspicion. It's never easy to get out of the comfort zone and talk to people who you deem strangers, but it's a start. And I'll definitely try that in the limited time I have.
Well I guess that's the end off my post for the climbing overseas trip.
It's midnight now and it's new year's eve. I still can't believe 2012 is coming to an end. Doesn't feel like it at all.
Time to sleep!
Woke up really early to leave for school. Spent the entire night before packing all my equipment into my bag which looked bulky in the end but it was surprisingly light. My mum gave me and xx a lift to school and we arrived quite early. MG was already there and soon the rest started arriving too. Went to the equipment cage to withdraw all the necessary equipment with some of them and after waiting for a while for the latecomers, we loaded our stuff on to the bus and were finally on our way off to KL! Sadly some of the juniors could not go for the trip since they had to go for council retreat instead.
During the bus ride, we mostly played card games which I keep getting owned at because I'm not a very good player. Talked a bit and also slept a bit, listening to music at the same time. We stopped at a rest point halfway for lunch, then proceeded on with the rest of the journey.
So when we finally reached KL, we headed for Camp 5, which was the largest indoor climbing gym in Asia if I'm not wrong. It was literally a climber's haven, with every time of climbing available there and seemingly unlimited climbs to try out. Seeing the towering high wall that had three overhangs reminded me of those extreme walls in international lead climbing competitions. Some day when I'm really strong enough, I would return and conquer that wall! Anyway, partnered with the span for the trip and we tried out some natural rock formation wall which was a good experience since Singapore does not have such walls in their climbing gyms. It felt like natural climbing but the next day would make me realise that it was totally different. After that we went to lead climb some 6A+ route which actually made me pumped. My forearms became completely numb and my veins were popping out like shit. It had been a long time since I last pumped up because it rarely happens to me. Was feeling quite worried since getting pumped on the very first route I attempted for the day was not a very good sign. But in the end, we managed to complete a few other routes around the 5C to 6A+ range. Didn't dare to venture out to 6B because my lead climbing still sucks, especially because of my lousy clipping in skills which makes me lock in too much with one arm. tiny eyes was very suay that day because he kana a rope burn on his leg while he was climbing, but it ended up being the centre of laughter because of the spray that Jups used on his injury. Hope he will recover soon, but it looks like he's gonna get a memorable scar from it. Anyway, we climbed for quite long and then went down to the mall for dinner. It's kinda cool that Camp 5 is located in a shopping mall. After dinner, we went back up to Camp 5 and some of us, including me, went to boulder in the boulder gym. The wall layout was interesting because of the inner tsunami walls with insane inclines that even made Jups grunt a couple of times. But on that night, we mostly tried the routes on the less intense walls that were more balance type routes rather than the powerful ones.
After a tiring day of climbing, we headed for our hotel. It was pretty funny that those sleeping in my room at first thought we were gonna get a room with no attached toilet and were suanned for that, but we ended up getting a room with an attached toilet instead lol. It was great that the guest house had hot showers and free wifi :D spent the night playing cards and talking cock. Couldn't really sleep that night because the air con was too cold for me and kept waking up to go to the toilet to clear all that mucus...
Day 2, 28 Dec
Got up early to bathe in hot water because I really couldn't take the cold at night. We packed our equipment for the day and had toast/nasi lemak for breakfast in the guest house. Once everyone was ready, we set off for Batu Caves by a short bus ride. Felt very excited to try out natural climbing for real :D Anyway we started off by lead climbing first to set up the top rope system so the juniors could climb the routes that we climbed too. To be honest, I haven't got rid of my fear of falling when lead climbing. I'm not afraid of heights, it's just that there is a fear of getting a serious injury if I were to fall above the quickdraw when lead climbing such as slamming into the wall etc. But luckily for that day I didn't get any. Unfortunately, indian fell while trying to clip his second clip that day and decked, slamming against the rocks when he landed. on the bright side, it wasn't a very serious injury so he wouldn't be down PES for NS. hope he'll recuperate from his injury soon :D Natural climbing was definitely the main highlight of the trip. For me, reaching the top and admiring the scenic view was what really made me enjoy the experience. Getting to experiment with different holds on the wall and the ability to smear anywhere I want was also a consolation for me.
Ate lunch halfway at some restaurant and I had prata there which was not bad. Then we went back to climb at Batu Caves again. When we returned, there was some ang moh dude that was climbing extremely high up, way pass any of the anchors that we have reached and it looked as if he was freaking free soloing cause I think there was no rope attached to him. But realised that he wasn't free soloing when even threw a rope down to his buddy to take the auto belay device from him or some shit. really need to find out how that actually works :O
worked on a route called the Monsoon during the later part of natural climbing which was a 6A+ i think. The span leaded it first but couldn't get pass the crux because the crux was seriously wtf for a lead climb. Tried it too myself but also couldn't get pass the same part. Jups went after me to own the route and set up the top rope in the end lol. Some of the junior guys managed to complete it on top rope which is really good, I think they really are improving very fast, and they haven't even started SH2 yet. Back then at this time in SH1, I was definitely nowhere near their standard now.
Overall, natural climbing was a good experience even though it left me with a few cuts and scratches here and there. After natural climbing, we headed back to the guest house to wash up and went for dinner at some coffeeshop nearby. The dinner was delicious, there were many dishes and it felt like some chinese reunion dinner. After dinner, we went to a nearby provision shop to buy some snacks and drinks before heading back to the guest house.
Played cards for a while and talked a lot with the climbers in my batch until late at night. Span, Bird, Calves and I talked about our life experiences until 5.30am and ended up waking up late for breakfast. But it was nice to finally let out a secret I've been keeping for so long which haunts me even until today, and I know I can trust them with it. Anyway, it doesn't really matter since it's already sort of over.
Day 3, 29 Dec
We quickly rushed to brush our teeth and change and we had to skip breakfast. After checking out of the guest house, we headed to Camp 5 again. This time I was going there just to boulder only. Some of the rest decided to go shopping instead. Upon reaching Camp 5, we first bought a T-shirt as a souvenir which had a nice climber design at the back and has the camp 5 logo in front. There was only two black shirts of that design left, so I decided to let captain and squirrel buy it and I bought the pink shirt instead. Don't really care that it's pink, I'm just gonna wear it to climb anyway. And it's not like I have much time left to climb, considering enlistment day is only 45 days more.
After buying the shirts, we went to the lockers to deposit our stuff and clean our climbing shoes using tissue because they got quite muddy from the natural climbing the day before. Bouldering was fun, managed to complete some pretty difficult routes there. The boulder routes there aren't taped up unlike that of Singapore's boulder gyms, they were all identified based on their tile colour, similar to sport climbing. But sometimes that made it confusing as to which is the starting tile or whether or not there are two starting tiles etc. Climbed in the boulder cave too which had a lot of insane routes. Was quite close to completing one of them which was sick because of the crazily inclined tsunami wall and the holds were mostly crimpy pockets. I think I grunted a lot for that route even though I rarely grunt when I climb. Went to eat lunch after that at food republic in the mall and had to rush because we were gonna be late for the meet up time back at camp 5. luckily the lift to camp 5 was very near food republic.
At Camp 5, we packed all our belongings and double checked our valuables and were ready to set off. Took a group photo before leaving on a small boulder that was meant for kids at the entrance of Camp 5. Many photos were taken during the trip and I'm quite eager to view all of them :)
The bus ride home was kinda awkward for me, although I didn't realise it until much later. It's funny how the juniors and seniors always sit separately. Anyway I went to sit in front with the juniors cause I didn't feel like playing cards. Talked cock with them for awhile, then jap boy came and sit beside me and asked if I wanted to hear the new AILD album. It's really cool to know that someone else is a metalhead in NJ :D So we listened to the new album tgt and I agreed with him that the melody for every song like the guitar riffs sounded the same, unlike previous albums such as The Powerless Rise and An Ocean Between Us which were better in my opinion. But maybe cause AILD is going for a new style? idk. anyway I fell asleep halfway while listening, and it's not because I didn't enjoy it but it was because I was really tired. jap boy fell asleep too. and yeah it is actually possible to fall asleep while listening to metal, I do it quite often. Everyone has their own individual song preferences. Anyway, woke up to the junior girls talking behind me and laughing away. Decided to join in their convo, only to realise they were gossiping .__. and it was weird to answer some of their questions at that moment cause my brain was dead and my answers were like half hearted.. but anyway, they asked me stuff about my batch, my family etc. and they also asked who my fav junior was and who was my least fav junior. which I found quite weird. Does that mean they think I hate one of them? :O and to that, I definitely don't. I have no reason to anyway. It's just that I'm not that close to some of them, that's why they may think that way. One of them even said that she thought she was the least fav, but I didn't know what to say so I just kept quiet. But it's definitely not true, I don't have a most fav and least fav junior. I treat all of them equally and I always believed that I can never be certain until I know them for who they really are, and there'll always be time for me to interact with them so I will never be judgemental. To be honest, I hate favouritism. I think that it is wrong to favour a person over other people because the rest would not feel good about it. Even if one chooses to practice favouritism, one should not blatantly let it be known to everyone but one should keep it within one's mind. Favouritism is no different from prejudice; it would only end up hurting others and even ruin relationships. Which is why I never wanted to be treated special, for I am just an average guy that just wants to live a happy life, and nothing more than that.
Anyway I wonder if some of the juniors read my blog lol. Maybe some of them do, idk. It'll definitely be surprising to know who actually reads my blog. So the bus ride got awkward after that cause the juniors were talking among themselves. But I guess I didn't have much to say too because there wasn't anything for me to say. I didn't feel like talking and it wasn't because I was emo or anything. Nah, it was more of because I didn't want to talk for the sake of talking.
anyway upon reaching NJ, we unloaded our equipment quickly and those who's parents were there alr left first while the rest went to pack up the equipment in the equipment cage. Xx got a lift home from my parents too and we talked a bit in the car about random stuff. Found out some info which sort of confirmed my suspicion. It's never easy to get out of the comfort zone and talk to people who you deem strangers, but it's a start. And I'll definitely try that in the limited time I have.
Well I guess that's the end off my post for the climbing overseas trip.
It's midnight now and it's new year's eve. I still can't believe 2012 is coming to an end. Doesn't feel like it at all.
Time to sleep!
Sunday, December 23, 2012
a little out of place
have you ever felt as if you don't belong in this world? sometimes I get that feeling and it kinda bugs me a little. or maybe it's the feeling that I think things would always go my way and I would lead a perfect life. But that is a foolish and naive dream for it will never happen.
the past few days made me realise I grew up a little again. Back in those days, I was more carefree and happy when it came to interacting with my relatives. But now, everything seems so different because everyone has grown up, including me. I just feel a little out of place when it comes to family gatherings now, because it seems as if every conversation is just small talk. You talk for the sake of not appearing lonely to other relatives. But honestly, nobody really cares about what you say in the conversation. They just brush it off in a matter of seconds because they just want time to pass quickly. "When are you enlisting?" "Feb 13" and that's the end of the conversation. And instantly they forget the date you just mentioned. because why? they don't have to care. they don't need to care. they just want to say something to fill in the awkward silence. but I'd rather they not say anything at all. It's kinda funny that you can't have heart to heart talks with your relatives when they are the ones related to you by blood.
I talked to my dad about this problem I faced after the family reunion dinner that day. It was right after the overseas trip briefing, and the climbers all went to have fun playing pool and eating dinner together whereas I had to rush for the dinner. I like seeing my cousins again and getting to catch up with them. But it sucks that I feel out of place. That I don't belong in the party at all. My dad told me that it is natural for me to feel this way since I never interacted very often with the other relatives, that as long as I'm close to my immediate family then it's okay.
anyway aside from these thoughts, I'm really excited for the overseas trip this coming Thursday. It's gonna be extremely fun and I hope it wouldn't rain! Can't believe Christmas is coming soon and 2012 is already coming to an end. I won't know how 2013 would be like, but it's bound to surprise me since my lifestyle would totally be changed by NS. I wonder how I'll be spending Christmas. I wonder who I'll be spending it with. Maybe it's time for me to really grow some balls and just go ahead with it. Even if I fail, at least I gave it a shot. But from the looks of it, I doubt I will fail. I'm just afraid of what might happen in the future, even when things haven't even started properly yet.
the past few days made me realise I grew up a little again. Back in those days, I was more carefree and happy when it came to interacting with my relatives. But now, everything seems so different because everyone has grown up, including me. I just feel a little out of place when it comes to family gatherings now, because it seems as if every conversation is just small talk. You talk for the sake of not appearing lonely to other relatives. But honestly, nobody really cares about what you say in the conversation. They just brush it off in a matter of seconds because they just want time to pass quickly. "When are you enlisting?" "Feb 13" and that's the end of the conversation. And instantly they forget the date you just mentioned. because why? they don't have to care. they don't need to care. they just want to say something to fill in the awkward silence. but I'd rather they not say anything at all. It's kinda funny that you can't have heart to heart talks with your relatives when they are the ones related to you by blood.
I talked to my dad about this problem I faced after the family reunion dinner that day. It was right after the overseas trip briefing, and the climbers all went to have fun playing pool and eating dinner together whereas I had to rush for the dinner. I like seeing my cousins again and getting to catch up with them. But it sucks that I feel out of place. That I don't belong in the party at all. My dad told me that it is natural for me to feel this way since I never interacted very often with the other relatives, that as long as I'm close to my immediate family then it's okay.
anyway aside from these thoughts, I'm really excited for the overseas trip this coming Thursday. It's gonna be extremely fun and I hope it wouldn't rain! Can't believe Christmas is coming soon and 2012 is already coming to an end. I won't know how 2013 would be like, but it's bound to surprise me since my lifestyle would totally be changed by NS. I wonder how I'll be spending Christmas. I wonder who I'll be spending it with. Maybe it's time for me to really grow some balls and just go ahead with it. Even if I fail, at least I gave it a shot. But from the looks of it, I doubt I will fail. I'm just afraid of what might happen in the future, even when things haven't even started properly yet.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Critical Acclaim-Avenged Sevenfold
A really nice song by A7X which I've been addicted to for so many years :P For those who don't like metal or vulgarities, don't listen to it. It's a song about the fucked up politicians and media in every society. Well at least that's what I interpreted it as. But the song is referring to the USA in particular.
My favourite line of the song would be:
"They've never contributed a fucking thing to the country they love to criticize."
which pretty much sums up how some Singaporeans like to complain so much about every little damn thing, but what have they ever done or what do they know how to do? Nothing. So fuck off.
Lyrics:
"Critical Acclaim"
Shhh... quiet, you might piss somebody off
Like me, motherfucker, you've been at it for too long
While you feed off others' insecurities
You stand in front of me and bite the hand that feeds
Self-righteousness is wearing thin
(Lies inside your head, your best friend)
Heart bleeds but not for fellow men
(Broken glass, your fake reflection)
I've had enough, it's time for something real
Don't respect the words you're speaking
Gone too far, acclaim
So how does it feel to know that someone's kid
In the heart of America has blood on their hands
Fighting to defend your rights
So you can maintain a lifestyle
That insults his family's existence
Well, where I'm from we have a special
Salute we aim high in the air
Towards all those pompous asses
Who spend their days pointing fingers
(Fuck You)
Shhh... quiet, you might piss somebody off
Like the heartbeat of this country when antagonized too long
I'll be damned if you count me in as part of your generous hypocrisy
Collecting enemies
Tabloid gossip queen, worthless man
(There's no need for us to bury you)
Selfish agenda once again
(Right this way, you've dug your own grave)
I've had enough, it's time for something real
Don't respect the words you're speaking
Gone too far, acclaim
All the way from the east to the west
We got this high society
Looking down on their very foundation
Constantly reminding us that our actions
Are the cause of all their problems
Pointing their fingers in every
Direction, blaming their
Own nation for who wins the elections
They've never contributed a fucking thing to the
Country they love to criticize
Excuse the obscene, ignore the untrue
Depictions we see try and get through
Admitting mistakes can hurt
I'm not the last but I sure ain't the first
Shhh... quiet you might piss somebody off
Self-righteousness is wearing thin
(Lies inside your head, your best friend)
Heart bleeds but not for fellow men
(Broken glass, your fake reflection)
I've had enough, it's time for something real
Don't respect the words you're speaking
Gone too far, acclaim
Like me, motherfucker, you've been at it for too long
While you feed off others' insecurities
You stand in front of me and bite the hand that feeds
Self-righteousness is wearing thin
(Lies inside your head, your best friend)
Heart bleeds but not for fellow men
(Broken glass, your fake reflection)
I've had enough, it's time for something real
Don't respect the words you're speaking
Gone too far, acclaim
So how does it feel to know that someone's kid
In the heart of America has blood on their hands
Fighting to defend your rights
So you can maintain a lifestyle
That insults his family's existence
Well, where I'm from we have a special
Salute we aim high in the air
Towards all those pompous asses
Who spend their days pointing fingers
(Fuck You)
Shhh... quiet, you might piss somebody off
Like the heartbeat of this country when antagonized too long
I'll be damned if you count me in as part of your generous hypocrisy
Collecting enemies
Tabloid gossip queen, worthless man
(There's no need for us to bury you)
Selfish agenda once again
(Right this way, you've dug your own grave)
I've had enough, it's time for something real
Don't respect the words you're speaking
Gone too far, acclaim
All the way from the east to the west
We got this high society
Looking down on their very foundation
Constantly reminding us that our actions
Are the cause of all their problems
Pointing their fingers in every
Direction, blaming their
Own nation for who wins the elections
They've never contributed a fucking thing to the
Country they love to criticize
Excuse the obscene, ignore the untrue
Depictions we see try and get through
Admitting mistakes can hurt
I'm not the last but I sure ain't the first
Shhh... quiet you might piss somebody off
Self-righteousness is wearing thin
(Lies inside your head, your best friend)
Heart bleeds but not for fellow men
(Broken glass, your fake reflection)
I've had enough, it's time for something real
Don't respect the words you're speaking
Gone too far, acclaim
Saturday, December 15, 2012
A great day spent
This post was supposed to be posted on Monday, 10 December 2012. Didn't have much time to update my blog and blogged about that day halfway!
Today was a really great day :)
woke up quite early in the morning to go to the dentist. after that went home for breakfast and went to sleep because I felt really sleepy the whole morning.
Woke up to my phone vibrating under Ian's phone call, but was too slow to pick it up. Saw the time on my phone, it was already 12pm, which meant I was going to be late! I immediately rushed off, my uncle gave me a lift to the mrt station nearby. then xx whatsapp me and said to wait for her at kovan mrt to go together. i was very sui bian about it, didn't suspect a shit. but then after waiting for quite long, I suddenly saw the whole gang of climbers appear in front of me at the mrt station. that was when i realised it was a surprise. turns out that they were on their way to my house, and I left when they were just about to reach LOL. and so they had to walk to kovan. and the whole time someone had to shit quite badly and wanted to take a shit at my house actually. But end up having to tahan even longer and shit at kovan instead. we ate at KFC and after that they 'surprised' me with a cake. even though the chain of events today was quite hilarious, I really appreciate that they prepared all this for me, and actually I really didn't expect that everyone would suddenly appear at the MRT station because I really believed xx. So in a way I was really surprised! And so I got to make two birthday wishes because the 2nd time they wanted to take a photo of me blowing off the candles and making a wish since they forgot to do it the 1st time. My 1st wish was that all the climbers would remain bonded together even though we have all left NJ and are now going our separate ways. It may sound a simple wish, but throughout the past friendships I had in sec/pri sch, I realised it's not easy maintaining past friendships once you have made new friends in new places.. and my 2nd wish was more of a personal goal, which was to be able to enjoy my NS life and go through it smoothly without getting any serious injuries. Then we went climbing at kinetics. Really hope I get the chance to invite the climbers to my house some day! maybe for christmas/new year/CNY. but maybe they would alr have plans to celebrate hmm.. Ok shit I can't rmb what else happened on that day, but it was a very meaningful one. managed to complete 3 blue routes which was quite ok considering my current standard in climbing is shit. after climbing I went to play pool with some of the climbers at kovan and then we went home after having many fun and retarded games. ate dinner at the nearby kovan coffeeshop with them too.
then the next three days was spent with my class. went to run/hike at macritchie reservoir with some of them on tuesday, badminton on wednesday, and USS on thursday. USS was extremely fun. Really enjoyed sitting all the rides. it was my first time riding roller coasters in my life too. hmm.. overall I am really happy I got to spend time with my class, it totally sucked that we couldn't bond this year much because of As. but now that it's over, everything feels great again!
then friday I can't rmb what I did. I think I was just slacking at home, practicing with my nerf gun and playing dota. and thinking about life.
today was a good day spent, went to climb with some of the juniors and for the seniors only the span and I went because some of the other senior climbers were either overseas/injured/busy :( which was sad.. wish that more of us could come and climb with the juniors, esp with the overseas trip fast approaching. but i hope that monday would be better. top rope and bouldered the whole day which was intense because I felt quite on form today. anyway I see great potential in the juniors now. it's great that we now have a jh girl who's climbing standard is quite good and has a bright future ahead in climbing :D i hope the climbing team would expand within the IP batches in years to come. anyway not many juniors came today, some of them were sick, while others were overseas or just busy with other things.
been thinking a lot of about decisions to make recently, it all seems quite clear now. I have three choices, I have to pick only one. But when it comes to making choices, sometimes even before you think about the choices, you already know which one you want. and I will choose that path, even if it may seem rather stupid. and sure, I may appear to be a bastard but everything I do would have to come with its consequences..
anyway I have also been spending a lot of $ recently. shall consider getting a job in Jan. or maybe not. idk. I have to see how it would be like. how 2013 would be like. damn. I can't believe time passed so fast. it's amazing how I have completely forgotten about the As when it seemed like the world to me less than a month ago. Priorities and life changes really fast. Two years ago I never knew any of these people, and suddenly it all seemed as if life just fell into place.
ok i don't feel like blogging anymore LOL. gonna go cut my hair tmr cause it's getting too long. probably my last proper haircut before all of my hair is gone. OFF TO PLAY DOTA NOW.
Today was a really great day :)
woke up quite early in the morning to go to the dentist. after that went home for breakfast and went to sleep because I felt really sleepy the whole morning.
Woke up to my phone vibrating under Ian's phone call, but was too slow to pick it up. Saw the time on my phone, it was already 12pm, which meant I was going to be late! I immediately rushed off, my uncle gave me a lift to the mrt station nearby. then xx whatsapp me and said to wait for her at kovan mrt to go together. i was very sui bian about it, didn't suspect a shit. but then after waiting for quite long, I suddenly saw the whole gang of climbers appear in front of me at the mrt station. that was when i realised it was a surprise. turns out that they were on their way to my house, and I left when they were just about to reach LOL. and so they had to walk to kovan. and the whole time someone had to shit quite badly and wanted to take a shit at my house actually. But end up having to tahan even longer and shit at kovan instead. we ate at KFC and after that they 'surprised' me with a cake. even though the chain of events today was quite hilarious, I really appreciate that they prepared all this for me, and actually I really didn't expect that everyone would suddenly appear at the MRT station because I really believed xx. So in a way I was really surprised! And so I got to make two birthday wishes because the 2nd time they wanted to take a photo of me blowing off the candles and making a wish since they forgot to do it the 1st time. My 1st wish was that all the climbers would remain bonded together even though we have all left NJ and are now going our separate ways. It may sound a simple wish, but throughout the past friendships I had in sec/pri sch, I realised it's not easy maintaining past friendships once you have made new friends in new places.. and my 2nd wish was more of a personal goal, which was to be able to enjoy my NS life and go through it smoothly without getting any serious injuries. Then we went climbing at kinetics. Really hope I get the chance to invite the climbers to my house some day! maybe for christmas/new year/CNY. but maybe they would alr have plans to celebrate hmm.. Ok shit I can't rmb what else happened on that day, but it was a very meaningful one. managed to complete 3 blue routes which was quite ok considering my current standard in climbing is shit. after climbing I went to play pool with some of the climbers at kovan and then we went home after having many fun and retarded games. ate dinner at the nearby kovan coffeeshop with them too.
then the next three days was spent with my class. went to run/hike at macritchie reservoir with some of them on tuesday, badminton on wednesday, and USS on thursday. USS was extremely fun. Really enjoyed sitting all the rides. it was my first time riding roller coasters in my life too. hmm.. overall I am really happy I got to spend time with my class, it totally sucked that we couldn't bond this year much because of As. but now that it's over, everything feels great again!
then friday I can't rmb what I did. I think I was just slacking at home, practicing with my nerf gun and playing dota. and thinking about life.
today was a good day spent, went to climb with some of the juniors and for the seniors only the span and I went because some of the other senior climbers were either overseas/injured/busy :( which was sad.. wish that more of us could come and climb with the juniors, esp with the overseas trip fast approaching. but i hope that monday would be better. top rope and bouldered the whole day which was intense because I felt quite on form today. anyway I see great potential in the juniors now. it's great that we now have a jh girl who's climbing standard is quite good and has a bright future ahead in climbing :D i hope the climbing team would expand within the IP batches in years to come. anyway not many juniors came today, some of them were sick, while others were overseas or just busy with other things.
been thinking a lot of about decisions to make recently, it all seems quite clear now. I have three choices, I have to pick only one. But when it comes to making choices, sometimes even before you think about the choices, you already know which one you want. and I will choose that path, even if it may seem rather stupid. and sure, I may appear to be a bastard but everything I do would have to come with its consequences..
anyway I have also been spending a lot of $ recently. shall consider getting a job in Jan. or maybe not. idk. I have to see how it would be like. how 2013 would be like. damn. I can't believe time passed so fast. it's amazing how I have completely forgotten about the As when it seemed like the world to me less than a month ago. Priorities and life changes really fast. Two years ago I never knew any of these people, and suddenly it all seemed as if life just fell into place.
ok i don't feel like blogging anymore LOL. gonna go cut my hair tmr cause it's getting too long. probably my last proper haircut before all of my hair is gone. OFF TO PLAY DOTA NOW.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
under the fair weather
So today's my birthday. 18th birthday. I didn't do anything but rest the whole day, because of my stupid fever and flu which worsened last night. I got a nice birthday present of paracetamol (which I learnt about in H3 Chem!) from my cousin's clinic (he's a doctor) so when I got home I immediately took the medication and was so sedated I slept the whole day..
Anyway yesterday was one of the most fun days I ever had. Climbed with the juniors at NUS, had lunch there, and went to lepak at Clementi afterwards for a while. Wished yesterday was my birthday, cause it would have been the most fulfilling birthday ever.
So yesterday my family gave me a photo frame with my toddler photo inside and some birthday wishes written on small cards inside. was really touched to receive that gift. my two sisters gave me this red t shirt too. although I think it looks quite kiddy, I still appreciate the present :D
I hope I recover very soon. sucks to be sick on your special day and during the holidays some more.. through my ordeal I realised that the only people that would truly care about you are your family members.. and maybe I have been neglecting some of the friendships I have made, especially the ones in sec sch. I guess it is a price to pay for committing so much to my JC life, that I end up becoming the fair weather friend that I sought to despise. Trust is something hard to find in a friend, would I be able to trust again?
it seems so weird that the people I never expected to wish me, actually wished me happy birthday today. and yet some of them whom I thought were close friends, didn't give a shit. I guess life's like that. You can't keep all your friends. Some of them stay, while others drift off somewhere hidden in your memory bank.
Anyway yesterday was one of the most fun days I ever had. Climbed with the juniors at NUS, had lunch there, and went to lepak at Clementi afterwards for a while. Wished yesterday was my birthday, cause it would have been the most fulfilling birthday ever.
So yesterday my family gave me a photo frame with my toddler photo inside and some birthday wishes written on small cards inside. was really touched to receive that gift. my two sisters gave me this red t shirt too. although I think it looks quite kiddy, I still appreciate the present :D
I hope I recover very soon. sucks to be sick on your special day and during the holidays some more.. through my ordeal I realised that the only people that would truly care about you are your family members.. and maybe I have been neglecting some of the friendships I have made, especially the ones in sec sch. I guess it is a price to pay for committing so much to my JC life, that I end up becoming the fair weather friend that I sought to despise. Trust is something hard to find in a friend, would I be able to trust again?
it seems so weird that the people I never expected to wish me, actually wished me happy birthday today. and yet some of them whom I thought were close friends, didn't give a shit. I guess life's like that. You can't keep all your friends. Some of them stay, while others drift off somewhere hidden in your memory bank.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
and the days go by..
so yesterday was grad night, it was quite fun. but i don't really feel like elaborating about it....
went to climb with bufflord today at onsight. was not feeling well cause of a stupid flu, so was quite off form. but managed to complete a handful of 6Bs and 6As even though some of them I rest halfway like siao...
my parents are overseas and the house is still and silent.
lately I don't know who I am anymore. What really is friendship? I still can't come up with an answer. Will I forever be condemned to meet new people and forget the old? Or maybe I am just thinking too much. I will find out soon enough. Been wanting to do something so much, but I just lack the damn guts to do it. I don't want to be pathetic, but I shall just see how it goes..
maybe some day I will find my haven, to live out this life alone in some secluded corner of the world, just being happy with what I have.
we all have emptiness inside, we all have answers to find. Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost..
have I just left two years of my life behind, without any progress at all? without any true friends made? Or have I always been living this way? Living a facade.
or maybe I am destined to live this life. maybe it's really time for me to get used to climbing alone. or doing anything alone. I don't need any special treatment, no premium privilege. Just to live a simple life, and to make do with what I have.
went to climb with bufflord today at onsight. was not feeling well cause of a stupid flu, so was quite off form. but managed to complete a handful of 6Bs and 6As even though some of them I rest halfway like siao...
my parents are overseas and the house is still and silent.
lately I don't know who I am anymore. What really is friendship? I still can't come up with an answer. Will I forever be condemned to meet new people and forget the old? Or maybe I am just thinking too much. I will find out soon enough. Been wanting to do something so much, but I just lack the damn guts to do it. I don't want to be pathetic, but I shall just see how it goes..
maybe some day I will find my haven, to live out this life alone in some secluded corner of the world, just being happy with what I have.
we all have emptiness inside, we all have answers to find. Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost..
have I just left two years of my life behind, without any progress at all? without any true friends made? Or have I always been living this way? Living a facade.
or maybe I am destined to live this life. maybe it's really time for me to get used to climbing alone. or doing anything alone. I don't need any special treatment, no premium privilege. Just to live a simple life, and to make do with what I have.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
I Climbed a lonely route, the only one that I have never known.
So today I went to Onsight to climb. alone. for the very first time. Wanted to see how it felt like. All I can say is, I didn't say a single word the whole time. because there was nobody to talk to .__. but today was ok, I completed all the novice women routes on the advanced wall, a handful of the inter women, two of the open women (this makes me sound like a woman but the routes aren't easy!!) and one novice men .___. i spent the whole day at the advanced wall, didn't feel like going over to the other side cause it was too crowded. It feels good that I am progressing quite well back to my old standard, but today I realised it sucks to climb alone. now I know how span felt that time .___. there's no sharing of routes, no discussion of ideas, etc. Everything felt like it was just going through the motion. I completed one route. then went on to the next. and to the next. and if I couldn't do a route, I just gave up and went on to the next one. anyway I sort of 'climbed' with a trio of ang moh kids that were about my age or maybe younger. they looked 16-18 anyway. I didn't talk to them at all so I won't say I climbed with them. But I did the routes they were doing. and when I completed it before them, they would discuss about how I did it, and termed me as "that guy" in their conversation. guess they weren't really open with asking me how to do the route. oh wells.. but not like I was very approachable today, I was distancing myself away from the crowd. Where there was empty space on the mats, was where I would be. In a way, I was a lone climber for one day, not wanting to interact with anybody but trying to feel what it's like to climb alone. and I'll never want to do it again cause it really sucks. Unless I really have no choice and I'm dying to climb. Like today.
but anyway, I should stop bouldering so much and focus on top rope instead to build up my climbing standard faster. and at the same time prepare for the trip at the end of the month.
oh, and turns out my after As plan went to shit because of some decisions I made. But it's ok. I think I made the right decision. I don't want to be a hypocrite and live a lie. But I guess being honest has it's consequences, and you end up hurting people unintentionally. I'm just glad that I'm following my heart truly now, and not just making rash decisions. even though things might not end up as I want them to be, at least it would not worse off than taking the alternative path. and I'm sure many of you reading this probably have no clue on wtf I'm talking about. But someday I will look back at this post, and hopefully I would not regret the decision I made. After all, things are looking great now, and maybe it would all turn out for the better.
but anyway, I should stop bouldering so much and focus on top rope instead to build up my climbing standard faster. and at the same time prepare for the trip at the end of the month.
oh, and turns out my after As plan went to shit because of some decisions I made. But it's ok. I think I made the right decision. I don't want to be a hypocrite and live a lie. But I guess being honest has it's consequences, and you end up hurting people unintentionally. I'm just glad that I'm following my heart truly now, and not just making rash decisions. even though things might not end up as I want them to be, at least it would not worse off than taking the alternative path. and I'm sure many of you reading this probably have no clue on wtf I'm talking about. But someday I will look back at this post, and hopefully I would not regret the decision I made. After all, things are looking great now, and maybe it would all turn out for the better.
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